Queer & Loathing

Cleaning the cache

2010-03-04T12:15:00.001Z

So, every now and then I like to give my computer a bit of a spring clean. Having only a relatively tiny hard disk (150GB) it's necessary especially when I find I've less than 1GB of free space left.

CCleaner is great for clearing out unwanted/unused files (e.g. temporary internet files, cookies etc.) and can free up a good bit of space depending on the status of your system.

Duplicate Cleaner is another great tool. You specify which folders you wish to search, and it points out any duplicate files. The search can be filtered based on filename, file size, modification date etc. It may be especially useful if you tend to move files around, but forget to delete the original, or if you contain lots of duplicate documents or music files.

WinDirStat is handy for helping to see what files are taking up the most space, giving a nice colour-coded visualisation of various file types and their sizes, with direct links to the files for easy deletion.

*These are all free tools available for Windows.

Five seasons of Lost in Eight Minutes

2010-01-07T14:32:00.001Z

Boom, Bust, Boom, Bust....

2009-12-03T13:49:00.000Z

The lost decade: prices now back to 2001 level

SO HOW did it all go so wrong in the property market? For a while there, mid-noughties, people in the property business felt they could walk on water. Now, with almost a decade of growth wiped off the value of Irish homes, both buyers and sellers are asking, how low can we go? Are we still in freefall, bumping along the bottom, or seeing the beginnings of recovery? Nobody wants to make the call.

[source: Irish Times - click for full article]

George Michael - December Song (I Dreamed of Christmas)

2009-12-02T17:33:00.006Z

Although it's a nice song, I'm still not 100% decided if it lives up to the usual high quality of George's material in terms of content; it does feel somewhat short or lacking. Saying that, it does have a lovely melancholy feel about it, a nicely animated video and the softness of his aged voice make it pleasent to the ear.

Car Trouble

2009-02-16T12:31:00.002Z

Although my ambition to get my driver's license by Dec 2008 fell by the wayside somewhat, I have been doing lots of driving in the meantime. I went for my first "official" lesson in the past 6 months there on Saturday and was happy to hear that the instructor deemed my driving up to test-ready standard, which is fantastic. I've applied for the test (hurrah! I hear you all say in unison), with an extra "asap, cancellations please!" in the comments section so hopefully I'll get a slot in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, my poor little Punto needs some TLC after failing the NCT :( I was pretty pissed off actually, as I had previously bought two spanking new front tyres pre-NCT only to be failed on one of the rear-tyres, some problem with the rear brakes (who needs brakes anyway, I say) and an undetermined engine leak (more than likely a loose cap somewhere). This means I've to fork out more cash, but hopefully I'll be able to get it re-tested in a week or so and be back out terrorizing slow-moving pedestrians and wobbly cyclists.

On the work front, I don't think I've ever been busier. It seems as though every contract job we had lined up have all suddenly come in at the same time, which is great for the company, but not so great for me as it means a few crazy busy weeks ahead especially as all the shared responsibilities that come with being in such a small company often means double-the-workload for me.

Motivation

2009-01-05T11:12:00.003Z

Motivation does not come first, action does! You have to prime the pump.... Individuals who procrastinate frequently confuse motivation and action. You foolishly wait until you feel in the mood to do something. Since you don't feel like doing it, you automatically put it off.

Another Blow to Equality

2008-11-07T11:32:00.003Z

The passing of Proposition 8 in California saddens me greatly. Although it does not affect us over here directly, it is sure to have further repercussions throughout the US and does nothing but strengthen the anti-gay and anti-equality sentiments that seem to still prevail throughout the world today. While on our trip to San Francisco we observed a a huge amount of public support for the No on Prop 8 campaign, but obviously it was no match for the conservative majority within the state of California.

"Sadly, fueled by misinformation, distortions and lies, millions of voters went to the polls yesterday and said YES to bigotry, YES to discrimination, YES to second-class status for same-sex couples."

Final Statement from No on Prop 8 Campaign

By Request

2008-10-15T14:20:00.003+01:00

Following on from previous request(s) to cater to my audience (of 1)....

PS: I hate this stuff :)

Sia

2008-10-14T17:40:00.005+01:00

For those of you that follow this blog (i.e. Mac), you are well aware of my liking for Sia's musical stylings. Myself and the other half went to see her a few months back in Crawdaddy, a venue which is beyond intimate, where she played a great set. Apart from the great songs and surprisingly powerful voice for someone so pixie-like, she has a great rapport on stage and sings as though she's singing to a group of friends. Tonight we're going to see her again, this time at the renovated Button Factory (previously the Temple Bar Music Centre). I'm sure it'll be as good as, if not better, than the last time we saw her. Some nice, mellow, yet quirky music to enjoy on a shitty dark and rainy evening such as this. She's also being supported by Scott Matthew, who did a lot of the songs for the movie 'Shortbus' (a film which even I found pretty shocking in places, especially the opening auto-fellatio scene!) for those of you who have seen this film.

Here's Sia's latest single, Soon We'll Be Found:

4 Days

2008-10-14T17:34:00.001+01:00

getting closer...I can almost taste the pineapple

9 Days

2008-10-10T19:58:00.003+01:00

I gave my talk today, and it went quite well. I talked a tad too fast, but overall I got some tought, but good questions and people seemed be interested enough as there was 20 mins of questions/discussion after the talk. It's a relief as it means that I basically have the whole presentation wrapped up. I just have to make one or two changes to the slides and to focus the talk a little more, but I am delighted....

...plus there's only 8 days left till I jet off.

11 Days to Go....

2008-10-07T18:51:00.002+01:00

....and I cannot wait!

Sneezefest

2008-10-05T17:43:00.004+01:00

I cannot stop sneezing. I started on Friday night, just before we went out to the George to meet friends, and seriously, I haven't really stopped since. I've currently got tissue jammed in my nose to try and stop, not a pretty sight nor a pleasant feeling. I had previously decided that I would work on practicing my presenation and timing today, although I really don't feel in the best condition to be doing so. But, as Tyra would say, I gotsta just model on through. I had hoped to go see Tropic Thunder this evening, but I may have to put in on hold. There's always the second series of The Shield (which I'm really enjoying) to get through anyway.

Presentation done...well almost

2008-10-03T14:04:00.006+01:00

I'm feeling much better today than yesterday. I needed to get all that off my chest.

Plus, I finished the slides for my presentation for Hawaii, so that's a big task out of the way....well, almost. I still have to practice the actual content and timing, and have to add more slides for when I'm giving the talk to a more general audience next Friday where I've been booked in for an hour long presentation. At least it's mostly filler and general background information that has to go in, so it shouldn't be too hard as it's something I'm pretty familiar with.

I'm planning to take a break tomorrow and do some shopping for the trip to Hawaii. There's a few bits and pieces I've still to get and it will be handy to dedicate a day to give myself the chance to look forward to it, and to remind myself that it's going to be one hell of a (badly needed) holiday!

To represent my joyous (erm, well maybe joyous is a tad exaggeration) mood, here's the latest single from Girls Aloud's upcoming album. It's called the Promise and is very 60s, yet 70s sounding; very Bacarachesque. It's got a nice wall of sound-vibe about it; very radio-friendly, although perhaps not as exciting or inventive as their previous outtings. Here's hoping that the album will have a few electo-tinged stompers with multiple bridges/verses/choruses/codas thrown in for good measure!

Work Management

2008-10-02T17:57:00.008+01:00

Work seems to becoming increasingly pressurised. I'm finding myself working ridiculously long days - practically all day, every day, including weekends - rarely finishing up before 9pm. If I'm not doing work I'm doing something Pride-related. On my long work days, it is true that for a lot of days I don't actually sit down at my computer until 10am, and even then I don't start doing actual proper work until 10.30/11. Reflecting on the situation the panic over my current work load could be influenced by a number of factors:

I have a shit lot of work
Too much is expected of me
I expect too much from myself
I work too many hours
I don't actual do enough work when I am working
My time management skills are atrocious
I'm not actually enjoying any of my work

Thinking about if for a bit, if I'm completely honest, it's probably a mixture of everything above. I do have a lot of work to do, but I should really be concentrating better and focusing on doing blocks of work and being more disciplined.

I need finish up my working day earlier, take more breaks from the computer when I'm not working and at least let myself have a few hours off in the evenings so I can wind-down properly. To do this I do need to manage my work load a bit better, and manage myself a bit better.

I really am my own boss, so therefore I need to give myself a break every now and then, give myself credit where credit's due but at the same time, come down heavy on myself if I am fucking about. One of the things I do miss about not working in a larger business is the lack of structure or management. On the one hand, yes it is terrible to have someone breathing down your neck every 5 mins, but it does give you that incentive to get work done and imposes goals on you that you can, and must, stick to. Working for a small company also means I have a lot more jobs and responsibilities to take care of - I have to actively think about revenue opportunities, and chase any up, and if any opportunities do arise, it's me that has to carry out the work e.g. contract jobs, as well as any work that I need to be doing for our own company.

Working from home often makes time-management doubly hard. Sometimes it feels like I'm not really doing that much work, but then again, if I was working in an office Im sure there'd be my morning chat with people as I come in, the early morning coffee break, my hour(+) long lunch break, the afternoon break and numerous chats/interjections in between. In terms of breaks (apart from checking out popjustice etc. during the day, and ignoring the days where I venture into town for an extended lunch break i.e. the entire afternoon) I only regularly take about 30 mins off for lunch.

In most proper office jobs work is over as soon as you leave the office at 5pm. The finality of that is something which is very hard to get when working from home, seeing as the work is always sitting there, staring you in the face. I've read many articles on having a seperate working space where you can close the door at the end of the day, which I do have. However, shutting the door is often a lot easier said than done, and once there are any hours left in the day the temptation is always there to do more work.

The isolation is an additional factor - I have no colleagues, group or team that I can discuss problems and roadblocks with. If I have a problem, it's entirely up to me to figure it out and to come up with a solution. Yes, I do get occasional help from my boss, but the reality is I still have to do the practical and physical work, together with a lot of the brain work.

The last question I need to consider is do I really like the work that I do? That's a difficult one for me to answer. Really, I don't know anything else, having come into the job straight from my PhD, which I came into straight from college. I am good at it, there are aspects of it which I like and there are perks - the upcoming trip to Hawaii being one of them. But there are other aspects which I'm not too keen on, and some days I am gagging for a change; that's why it's great whenever I get the chance to work on things I am interested in - things like web design. This is where Pride can come in handy; it does take up a huge amount of my time, but it can be enjoyable and gives me a reason to pick up new skills and develop existing ones.

I guess at the end of the day, I am a bit hard on myself. I do need to really manage my time and goals better, but I also need to give myself an emotional and physical break every now and then. I am good at what I do. Yes, there is some serious need for improvement, but it is still a work in progress. I'll get there eventually.

Note to self: I must re-read this post in a few months to see if I'm still in the same situation, and also to encourage myself to be a bit more positive about it all.

Paper Writing

2008-08-12T14:21:00.004+01:00

This paper writing isn't going well at all. I think its a mixture of not having a clue where to start and the pressure of it all. Still have to book our flights too.

In the meantime, watch/listen to this for your ammusement. Note the Kat & Kim references.

Good Times/Bad Times ?

2008-08-05T17:16:00.007+01:00

I got some good, and some bad news this week. I found out that a proposal for a presentation I put in for a conference in Hawaii has been accepted. This means that I get to go to Hawaii towards the end of October for a week! Good times! How often does anybody get presented with an opportunity like this? I received confirmation when the organiser of the conference rang me to ask me some clarification questions about the presentation. He seemed really interested and enthusiastic about the presentation, so much so that he invited me to be a keynote speaker. Good times? No, bad times!

Now, don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic opportunity - especially for my company - in terms of raising the company profile - and to be invited as a keynote speaker is very prestigious. It's generally offered to people who have a lot of experience in research and in their field, and are generally considered experts in their respective areas. This is what makes me nervous. No, not nervous, terrified!

I get nervous at the best of times, when I give presentations. Generally, the nerves pass as soon as I start to talk and I ease into it. But this is a whole other kettle of fish than a simple presentation. It is an address to all the attendees at the conference, setting the theme for the particular session I'm speaking at, so if it goes badly, it's not as if I can slink off into the lei-filled night unnoticed. I know, as everybody has been saying to me, it will probably go fine, but it really is challenging my self-confidence and pushing it to the limit, so much so that after the aforementioned phone call I was on the verge of some sort of panic-attack. I literally felt weak at the knees and weirdly upset. As I've said I do get nervous and anxious occasionally, but nothing like this, and on the occasions that I have become extremely nervous I'm completely aware of the fact that it is nerves that are affecting me. It took me a while to realise that the prospect of being a keynote speaker simply terrifies me. In the past, if a talk didn't go particularly well, it only reflected on me poorly. However, this time around I'm not only speaking about my own work and findings, but I'm also speaking on behalf on my company, so I have an even greater responsibility to do well. This is the first time the company will have been represented on an international scale and as they say, first impressions are often everything.

To say I am shitting myself slightly, is a complete understatement.

Drink Your Sun-Fizz!

2008-05-09T15:49:00.003+01:00

I completely forgot about this advetisment. Absolutely hilarious!

In other news, to stem my lack of productivity I've picked up a copy of David Allen's Getting Things Done. With my already existing obsession with stationary, it looks like I may soon be a convert to the GTD cult...

Je Parle Pas Francais

2008-03-25T14:13:00.002Z

As if Girls Aloud couldn't get any better...
they've recorded their new single Can't Speak French, in French! How post-modern and fabulously ironic of them!

Here's the original video set to the french version of the song:

Step One, Check!

2008-03-13T14:39:00.004Z

Yay!

I passed my driver theory test today! I got full marks, so I'm well chuffed. I realise its only one small step of many towards getting my license, but still, it's a step!

Look out bitches, I'll be on the road in no time. All I have to sort out now is trying to find someone who is going to insure me for less that €1,200. Not an easy task.

Busking 101

2008-03-05T15:40:00.003Z

Check this out: Roisín Murphy doing a performance of You Know Me Better, the next single from her album Overpowered, on the streets of London.

In the words of PopJustic...amazing.

The album itself is pretty amazing too. Check out couple of reviews.

Cyanide & Happiness on Gayness

2008-02-27T13:30:00.004Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Stumbling Forth

2008-02-27T13:19:00.006Z

The arch supports, they do nothing!

My feet are still killing me. I'm going to give these arch supports (which incidentally seem to make my shoes fit less well which can't be a good thing) one more day. If my feet have not been completely managled by the end of today I'm guessing they're doing their job.

I know this is a pointless update, but I figured that seeing as I've started blogging again I should really keep the ball rolling, or stumbling forward at least.

Baby Steps

2008-02-26T15:51:00.002Z

As some of you may know, I was the lucky recipient of a car for Christmas - and no, I'm not from one of those familys that get ponies and such for Christmas. It's a '97 Fiat Punto. I took it as a subtle yet obvious hint that my parents think I, being 26, should really get off my arse and learn to drive.

I've been getting a few lessons of my younger (yes I know it is embarassing that she can drive and I can't) sister, and today I took the first of many steps to make my way onto the roads by applying for my theory test. I've been arsing around for ages reading the book and doing the CD-rom test, so I figured I should really set myself a deadline. I'm doing the test in two weeks, so hopefully all will go well.

Genetics

2008-02-22T19:03:00.009Z

I've been having really bad foot pain in my left foot for the past few weeks, so I decided to go and visit a chiropodist to get it checked out (by the way did you know that chiropodist pronounced k-iropodist? I obviously didn't from the look of puzzlement when I said the word to the...erm...foot doctor person).

Anywho, she informed me that I have extra high arches in my feet. Yes, some may say that this means my feet would look fantastic in heels, but unfortunately, and contrary to my occasional druken antics, a drag queen in the making I am not. It seems that I have the opposite to flat feet and am putting tons of pressure on the balls of my feet, hence damaging the soft tissue and giving me the pain I've been experiencing together with frequent shin splints with excessive walking/running.

She also informed me that it is genetic, and in keeping with the general trent in the family, any genetic problems seem to always get passed down to me. Why couldn't my family carry some kind of laser-beam-emmiting genetic trait or super-human strength? Is that too much to ask? Instead I got lumped with an immune-system that likes to eat up pancreatic cells and gammy feet. That's great. Just fucking great. With my ability to absorb/inherit genetic traits so well, it seems that I had all the opportunity to become a super X-Man like figure. Pity my gene pool has me more akin to Beak rather than, say, Nightcrawler.

Ah well, at least I can remedy the situation with discreetly placed insoles rather than my initial horror of thinking I'd have to wear those chunky orthopedic shoes that we used to slag the Jehovah Witness kid in school for wearing.

Renovatations

2008-02-15T14:59:00.004Z

As you may be aware, I'm in the midst of renovating this old blog. The next step is to actually start posting again. I should really start anew and clean up all of the ancient posts on here, but to be honest, I couldn't be arsed.

Currently I'm bolloxed tired and completely unmotivated. Thank God it's Friday at least! Plans for the weekend...well I've got a friends birthday party on tomorrow night and as for the rest, I plan on just taking it easy. We'll see how that one works out.

Buy It!

2007-10-19T13:35:00.000+01:00

I just picked up a copy of Róisín Murphy's new album "Overpowered" and I have to say it is a fantastic album. On the first listen I liked it, but by the third I am completely won over.

If you like sophisticated pop/electronic/dance this is one for you. It is in the same vein as Moloko's final album "Statues", but not as heavy-weight - it has far more variety and a little more soul. It's light enough on the ears to have it on in the background, and has enough quality dance-funk beats that you can really get into when you pump up that volume. The highlights of the album for me so far have to be the Andy Cato tracks (he being of Groove Armada fame) You Know Me Better, and the current single Let Me Know which has a fantastic accompanying video:

In other music news, Girls Aloud's new video has been uploaded to youtube for their forthcoming single "Call The Shots". It's an excellent mid-tempo track and a far more straight-forward track than their last single "Sexy! No, No, No...". I really love this track, but at the same time I hope they don't play too safe with the rest of the material on their new album "Tangled Up" which is shaping up to be another brilliant album, improving on the completely and horrifically underappreciated "Chemistry" album. Most people don't realise that they are more of an albums than singles band and alot of their best tracks (cf. "Some Kind of Miracle", "Graffiti My Soul", "Models") never see the light of day.

Myself and Alan are going to see them in G-A-Y on the 17th November. Can't wait for it. It will be great to get away before Christmas, seeing as we really only had a one-week holiday this year, and I know this Christmas is going to be tough giving everything that's happened this year. It's also a great distraction from my current unrelenting frustration with work. I miss optimisim.

Tech Madness!!!

2007-07-28T18:02:00.000+01:00

So I went and bought myself a shiny new Nokia 6300 phone. Previously I had the Moto Razr V3, which had just started to piss me off big time, mainly because when texting the predictive function was awful and response time almost as bad. So far I absolutely love the 6300. I was going towards a smart phone, but figured I was just going to pay extra for a load of features that I'd mess with for a week and then get fed up with. The main thing about the new phone that I really like is the screen which is super bright and has fantastic resolution, and texting is no longer a painstaking chore.

Following on from this shopping buzz I went ahead and bought a black Creative Zen Stone Plus. I was looking for a smaller companion to my iPod mainly for the gym.
The Stone Plus is similar enough to an iPod Shuffle, although it has an OLED display screen, an FM radio (with a resonable reception which can be a little bit crackly depending on your location and station), stopwatch, voice recorder and still the size of a pebble. One limitation is that you can't browse tracks while listening the music - if you move to another folder the player starts playing files in that folder.

You also can't actually browse tracks, only folders, but I suppose it is really only designed to contain one or two main playlists, but at 2GB you could potentially have over 200 songs on it - more than enough for what I need anyway - which can be put on the player using simple drag-and-drop. Another slight critisim is the response times when you are flicking through the menu are a tiny bit slow, but overall its fine. I suppose the real attraction for me though was the design - small, extremely light, smooth and, most importantly, shiny.

San Sebastian

2007-07-25T12:31:00.000+01:00

Here's just some photos from my trip to San Sebastian. It's such a beautiful place to visit, plus it was all-expenses paid and all I had to do was do a crappy 10 min presentation. Although it is a bit shitty going to these places on your own, especially when you don't speak the language and most people you're with don't speak English and you have to go out to dinner with them, while they all chat away telling jokes and all you can do is just sit there and smile along.

On the last night, completely against character, after paying €3.50 for what I thought was a glass of wine, when it was in fact the price for a whole bottle (which I, of course, polished off), I ended up going to a bar to have a drink, got chatted up by two tranny-hookers, then met some random people along the way (from here its pretty vague) and headed along to a party with them in a different bar before finally crawling back to the hotel at around 4am. Ah, good times!

Current Top 10 Listens....

2007-07-11T19:47:00.000+01:00

...in no particular order.

Singapore (Unreleased Demo) - Girls Aloud, from 'Sound of Girls Aloud [ltd. ed. bonus disc]

Medevac - Siobhan Donaghy, from Ghosts

There's A Place - Siobhan Donaghy, from 'Ghosts'

Aerodynamite - Daft Punk, from 'Daft Club'

Futures - Zero 7 (feat. José Gonzalez), from 'The Garden'

Golden Skans - The Klaxons, from 'Myths of the Near Future'

The Way I Are - Timbaland (feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E.), from 'Timbaland presents: Shock Value'

Alala - Cansei De Ser Sexy, from 'CSS'

Overpowered - Róisin Murphy, from 'Overpowered'

Green Light (Freemason's Remix) - Beyoncé, from 'B'Day (deluxe edition)'

I'm espcially enjoying all of Siobhán Donaghy's latest album Ghosts. It's a great pop album coming a little from the left-field.

In Limbo

2007-01-03T16:23:00.001Z

I'm finding it really hard at the moment to get back into things, now that I've finished by Ph.D. Granted, I still have all my corrections to do, but besides that I'm technically finished college, apart from graduation in March sometime. I've been in the same place for 7 years, which means I've probably become somewhat institutionalised. The last year has kept me cut off from most of my friends, the older ones in particular (not by choice), who let's face it, all have their own shit going on, which I suppose is inevitable. And now that I'm finished college, it's going to be harder to keep in touch with the group of friends I've made in college (none of them work-related). So in one way I'm in a kind of limbo. I always told myself that I wouldn't end up being part of one of those couples who just hang out together all the time, but it seems almost as if that's exactly what I've become, despite my best efforts. Working from home for this new job of mine, is not going to make matters any different either. Speaking of which, I still have no idea what exactly I'm supposed to be doing for this job which I'm supposed to be starting next Wednesday. I should really get that sorted out. All this oral contract stuff has left alot of things up in the air.

Call me Doctor...

2006-12-18T12:16:00.000Z

....Just passed my viva voce with only minor corrections!! The presentation went well, and the question and discussion session lasted for just over an hour. Towards the end of the session, I started to stumble over my words, probably due to all the stress affecting my sugar levels (God, that sounds so nerdy), so my internal examiner just dropped the last few of his questions, which suited me fine!

It's a bit of an anti-climax at the end of it all, although I'm still pumping adrenaline. I'm just so glad its all over and done with. Now I can really enjoy Xmas by getting paralytically drunk!

My Defense Looms

2006-12-15T14:37:00.000Z

So, I managed to successfully hand in my Ph.D. thesis, despite it almost killing me, and the 3 weeks later the day has almost arrived for my defence. I am absolutely shitting it. On the one hand, it could be fine. The examiners might have really like my thesis, thought it was perfectly complete as is and just end up asking me general discussion questions during the viva. Or, it could be a disaster, where they nitpick at almost everything I have written, don't agree with me, and then put me on the spot and I whither to a sobbing heap. I am sincerely hoping for the former senario. Yet, either way I am still shitting it.

Driver to the Rescue

2006-10-14T16:08:00.000+01:00

After having a great Friday 13th Night last night, supported by John's fantastic Friday 13th drinking game - "dead body - drink", "nudity - drink!" "crazy Ralph - two drinks!", I go and have a fucking hypo on the bus on the way into college today.

I was about 5 mins away from my stop when I started to shake and dropped my bag so the guy in front of me asks if I'm ok, to which I tell him I have to get off the bus. He goes down and tells the bus driver, who stops the bus and comes up to see if I'm ok just about when I start to shake. After I say I'm diabetic and all of the passengers are wondering what the hell is going on, there are a few people down the back volunteering some sugar and diet coke (well, their hearts are in the right place). Luckily there was a girl sitting across from me who offers some sweets (as it turns out she's diabetic herself) which the bus driver feeds to me seeing as my hands are going all over the place. So the bus driver then drives to the next petrol station, gives a guy some money to run in and get me a drink all the while the bus is waiting outside the station full of passengers. At this stage I'd come round ok, so I run off to the shop to tell the guy I'm ok and I tell the bus driver I'm fine, but he waits for me nonetheless and let's me off at the university stop.

I'm just so fucking embarrassed right now. I hate when crap like that happens to me. I was meant to get loads of thesis work done today, but now I'm just worn out. How and ever, it's nice to know that, for all the assholes, scangers, knackers and scumbags, there are still plenty of decent people out there.

"I'm Getting too Old for that Whorey Look"

2006-09-21T10:59:00.001+01:00

If you haven't yet seen the brilliantly and unintentionally funny Showgirls yet, do not fret. The film which contains some of the most memorable dialogue of any film is apparantly being adapted for stage.
I wonder if Showgirls! The Musical will hold onto any of the dialogue from the film, such as the title of this post or the immortal quotes ""Must be weird not having anybody cum on ya." and "Life sucks, you know" or even the brilliant "I used to love Doggy Chow too!". But my alltime favourite piece of dialogue from the film is:

"I got my period."

"Yeah, right."

"Check."

"That's alright, I got towels."

I wonder how they'll re-enact that scene on stage?

Gays in the US Military

2006-09-20T17:59:00.001+01:00

This clip from youtube is doing the rounds lately, but I just had to stick it up here for those of you who haven't seen it yet. It's taken from The Daily Show:

Pictures from Oz

2006-08-28T18:00:00.000+01:00

So, despite giving any kind of description of the great holiday we had in Sydney - I've finally transfered the pictures from my digital camera to my laptop, so I've decided to stick a few up here for your entertainment. I have chosen some more everyday pictures, rather than the traditional opera house/harbour bridge/random architecture shots I also took. It's also a great excuse for not having to write an actual blog entry.

Lately, I haven't had much time on my hands due to the impending deadline for my thesis (Nov. 9). That partnered with the fact that I am a terrible procrastinator and as a result am finiding it extremely difficult to make any kind of progress with my writing, means that I'm currently under an awful lot of pressure, so I really do have to get my ass in gear. At least one reassuring thing is that I've sorted out a 6 month contract with my current supervisor to work for his translation company, and for a very decent wage (yay! money!). I'm due to start working on it a bit while I'm adding the finishing touches to my thesis, so more than likely I won't be doing any work for them until late October, early November. Although, with my last grant stipend coming in next month, and my savings running quite low after the trip to Oz the sooner I start working, the better! I can't live off peanut butter and playing cards for long, no matter how appetizing it may sound to some of you.

One of the "meals" we were given on the Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpar flight

Kuala Lumpar Airport

So happy to be at my conference

Eating some banana bread

A nice "artistic" shot of the Opera House from the Harbour

Some friends we met on our trip (we won them in the crappy Lunar Park fairground

Lions at the Taronga Zoo

Mel's Apology

2006-08-10T11:51:00.000+01:00

taken from Proceed at your own risk.

We Arrived...Finally!

2006-07-16T02:52:00.000+01:00

After 3 planes, and 30 hours traveling we finally arrived in Sydney! The weather itself was pretty shitty and overcast yesterday, but its clearing up nicely today. Got picked up at the airport by Alan's friend and her girlfriend, went and grabbed some breakfast and then after much meandering through the city, eventually found our hotel. The hotel itself is nice - nothing too fancy, but the bed is unbelievably comfortable. Went for a nap when we arrived - not 100% by choice as the fact that I O.D'd on the tapazepam my granny (you heard it right!) slipped me before I left and failed to sleep in off on the flight from Kuala Lumpar. Got up about 6 p.m., showered, dressed and headed into Newtown for a bite to eat. Met up with people for drinks in a little dingy but cool drag bar and then onto a really tacky (and kinda shitty) nightclub in the basement of some sex shop on the main strip. So far, the impression is good. We're going to see more of the city today including a visit to the Opera House. Tonight I have to attend a pre-conference cocktail and mingling thing but I'm going to try and slip out after putting in an appearance as we're planning on heading out again. Will keep you posted.

Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard Of...

2006-07-11T14:59:00.000+01:00

I must say I had a fantastic weekend - between getting to see Dave (thanks muchly for the bday present - I now have a plush version of the queen Alien chest-burster --so cute-- adorning my gogglebox) and then the amateur strip show by the Dublin Devils FC in the G on Fri night. Got to meet up with people from college that I hadn't seen in a while, have a few drinks, leer at the hot (and not so hot) nakedness and full frontal on stage (the place was packed) and dance to some decent music, before finishing off the night in style with a Chicken Royale...man hadn't had one of those in ages - cheers to Dave for putting the lust for Burger King in my loins.

More than likely I won't be blogging for the next two weeks, as I'm off to Sydney with Alan on Thursday! There's a conference over there for the first week, that'll I do my best to avoid as well as some ghosts from my past who have recently got in touch with me out of the blue. I really wish I hadn't heard from him at all - it stresses me out so much even thinking about it, it even has me second-guessing myself. But I'm sticking to my guns - I've decided that I've absolutely nothing to gain from meeting up with him, other than to exchange pleasantries, and so I'm not
going to.

The journey to Oz is gonna be the furthest I've ever had to travel. We fly through Amsterdam and then onto Kuala Lumpar before arriving in Sydney early Saturday morning. So far the weather reports aren't too good, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it clears up for most of the days. If I can, I'll try and blog somewhere along the way, and maybe include a few photos.

PS: In case people are wondering, after getting one or two not-so-nice comments and subsequently realising I forgot my password to edit said comments, I've removed the old comments and have switched to using Blogger's facility.

Pride is Upon Us

2006-06-15T10:16:00.000+01:00

In the spirit of the season, that is gay Pride, I came across this article from the Onion 2001, and thought it was too hilarious not to share.

I'm off to Oslo this Sunday to attend a conference there for 3 days. Not too sure if I'm really looking forward to it or not, especially after my last bad experience at one of these things, but still, haven't been to Norway before. Apparently at this time of year the sun doesn't set till 11p.m. which gives me an excuse to stay up all night. One of the main things that bothers me about these conferences is the fact I have to pay for everything in advance and it usually takes up to a month before I get reimbursed for anything, so between this and my trip to Sydney in July, my credit card is seriously at breaking point, and I cannot stand being in debt as it is. There's just something about the whole debt situation that always makes me uncomfortable - probably because I'm so careful about my money. I guess I'm a bit anal that way.

Crappy Update

2006-06-06T16:58:00.000+01:00

So I eventually finished designing the Dublin Pride website, and although it doesn't look quite as polished as I wanted it to, I still think its a pretty good effort, although the people over at QueerID start bitching about it before it was even launched. It ties in really well with the official programme - using the same colours and much the same layout. It serves its purpose. It was launched on the 30th May, where I had to get up on stage and talk about the website to a crowd who didn't seem that particularly interested. We even had to go to the club earlier that evening to set up a DVD slideshow for the whole Pride launch - which we did a decent enough job of on our own, even though we didn't have much of a clue of what we were supposed to be doing. After all was said and done, nobody even came up to us as we were sipping on our free wine/distilled vinegar at the launch night to comment on the whole thing. Talk about a thankless task. Well, I just hope that people will get some use out of the website. I half thought that this could be the start of a side-career in web-design, which is actually something that I've thought about doing for a bit. It might mean that my PhD won't go completely to waste.

My boyfriend also moved in to my apartment this weekend gone and Dee moved out. We've decided to keep Dee's old bedroom as a spare room for anyone who needs a place to crash and maybe stick a desk in it and call it an 'office'. It will take a good while to get used to not living with Dee, but I suppose change is inevitable. The place just seems so quiet now. My one main fear is that we end up cutting ourselves off even more from our seperate friends, but hopefully the fact that we're now living together will mean I'll actually have more free time to see my friends. It is big leap to make - my first real adult decision, but I still have a good feeling about the hold thing, so fingers crossed.

Good.

2006-05-09T20:23:00.000+01:00

So Im celebrating turning 25 this weekend. God that's fucking scary - 25 already, and what have I done?

Well I'm out (very good), I'm now living away from home (which is good), I'm in a steady fantastic relationship(very good), I'm about to move in with my boyfried (good yet scary), I haven't gotten drunk in over 2 weeks (not very good), I've gotten my degree and am almost finished my PhD (very very good), I haven't a clue what I'm doing when I finish college (not so good), I'm designing the website for Dublin Pride this year (very good), I'm living just above the breadline (not good), I've still got a great bunch of friends (very good)...who I don't see as often as I should (not good).

So all in all I've done good so far. I just hope it's not all downhill from here.

One thing I have to look forward to is my party on Saturday - and to those of you who got invited, I hope you've checked out the website. Looking forward to getting drunk and catching up with everyone, especially after the stressful few weeks I've had (and still have yet to come).

Oh My George!!

2006-04-26T11:29:00.000+01:00

After much heart-attack inducing panic I managed to snag myself some tickets to see George Michael at the Point, Dublin this December. I seriously never thought I would ever get to see him play so I am absolutely elated, especially seeing as I am a mega-fan! I cannot wait!

Rip 'em Out

2006-03-15T11:50:00.000Z

Oh my God I am in so much pain! I swear to God if I ever have children and I see them sticking anything that contains any type of sugar in their mouths I will smack them so hard I'll knock all their teeth out myself.

I've just come back from the orthodontist, where Im undergoing treatment to get my teeth straightened. I've been wearing a "rapid palatal expander" for the last 3 months and today I had it removed. Well as he was taking it out, the screw snapped then the brackets broke and the pain was excruciating. There was not even a warning. My teeth had been under so much pressure that when it was relieved it just felt like they were going to fall out. He then took to moulds of my already sore teeth (which were covered in blood when he took them out) and turns out I have to go back tomorrow and get a retainer fitted - wear that for three weeks, then get another expander fitted, this time with a longer screw, and so it continues. I regret starting this crap. This whole experience only strengthen's my argument further for the complete removal of all teeth at infancy and the use of false replacements. If they cause this much hassle why not just rip them out altogether at the earliest opportunity - it would save so much pain and trouble.

Housewarming

2006-01-11T10:02:00.000Z

Housewarming this Friday at 8pm. Hope to see you all there :)

Mojo

2005-11-18T17:42:00.000Z

Things are still going well for me at the moment, which is all good. I got through my transfer talk fine, and in fact, even felt a little bit cocky about it before I went through with it, so much so that I didn't bother to do that much preperation. It still went really well - it's amazing how smoothly things can go when you actually have some sort of a clue about what your supposed to be researching.

Its a big season of change for me at the moment. We're moving at the end of the month, due to the fact that we can't cope with the mould situation. The spores have taken over. Resistence is futile. It's time to move on. Plus the place is fucking freezing at this time of year. We've found a place actually just down the road, which is nicer than our current one. Its in an apartment block located in a converted convent. Lovely apartment, lovely building but what a kip of an area - it's get your sovereigns out! Let's just say Im not going to be walking home from town after 9pm. But I suppose you have to compromise somewhere. At least the apartment is secure - it'd wanna be with all those pregnant teenagers in the area dropping a new breed of scum every few hours. That kinda reminds me of the gremlins for some reason. I am looking forward to getting out of our place to eventually get a bedroom that's a tad bigger then the wardrobe that Im sleeping in at the moment. The apartment is due to be finished - its still not furnished and has no lights - in about two weeks, which is perfect timing as our lease is up at the end of the month. One downside is the fact that half my wage is going to be spent on the rent. I think its going to be a Tesco value brand year for me.

Been hanging with the ol' LGB college society too. We went gay bowling about 2 weeks ago - and by gay bowling I mean a bunch of gays bowling, not throwing gays down the bowling lanes. It was out in Palmerstown (still havent a clue where it is) and it was a great night. BYOB with disco music and lights on the bowling lanes. Oh what a gay old time was had. I still get the feeling however, that my memebership of the society is somewhat pointless. Nobody seems to be interesting in talking to me as much ever since Ive got a boyfriend, and when there is a conversation it usually starts with "so how long have you been going out" with a shocked expression at the answer, as seemingly any relationship lasting over a month long seems like a lifetime. It just gets a bit annoying after a while. I mean, I may be a little older than the rest of them, but still, I'm not old, and I do have a life outside of the relationship, although maybe less of one than I used to. I do really want to get involved in the society but maybe I shouldn't... Maybe its just me though... I dunno. I'm feeling quite inarticulate at the moment - most likely due to the fact that I haven't posted anything in ages. I should really look for that mojo of mine. It's got to be around here somewhere..

Transfer Talk

2005-10-27T09:21:00.000+01:00

I have my transfer talk today (to transfer from MSc to Ph.D.), so wish me luck. Although I am wearing my brand new lucky green runners - yeah, you heard me, they're green!

So Much for an Open Society

2005-10-03T13:39:00.000+01:00

From the Irish Independent:

A demonstration is taking place in Dublin today to highlight a series of attacks on members of the city's gay community.
The protest is being held close to the popular gay pub The George, in an area where many of the assaults have taken place.

The organisers said at least three people had been hospitalised as a result of attacks over the past 10 days, one of whom lost three pints of blood.

Gardai have made a number of arrests, but the gay community is seeking more visible patrols in the city centre at the weekend

I thought I should post about this. What is even more upsetting is the apparant attitude of the Gardai who arrived on the scene who came across quite ignorant, according to certain reports. If so, with an attitude like that from the authorities, what kind of example are they setting for the public? Hopefully this protest will get the media attention it deserves. I know it would if it had been an equivalent racially motivated attack. The streets of Dublin just aren't that safe anymore. Especially if you're gay.

For more details, check out the topics at QueerID here and here.

Slapper-Face Shit

2005-09-26T17:16:00.000+01:00

I can breathe. For the moment anyway. Just finished off my transfer paper, so now I've about three weeks to get the talk ready, so I guess the pressure has eased off a little bit, for now.

Apart from being ridiculously busy in work, I've been out a few times since I've gotten home, catching up with a few mates. My first Wednesday back I ended up in Slapperface Prick's. If there was any tiny niggling heterosexually within my person, it was quickly annihilated as soon as I heard the sound of the Proclaimers over the speakers and saw the crowd of drunken country boys and men in suits feeling up even more intoxicated girls in far too much sequence. I mean, it was just revolting. Thank God Im gay. Really, thank God. The place just reeked of desperation, well I suppose most gay clubs can too - but at least they attempt to be glamorous or more discrete about it. This was just tits-in-your-face lob-it-in-there type stuff and made me feel so awkward. *Shudder*. I suppose I should have expected it. They also had a plastic ice-bin in the middle of the dancefloor to collect water leaking from upstairs. Oh, and don't get me started on the leopard-skin print everywhere! Classy.

I must say, however, it was better than the last time I was in there, when I walked into the gents toilets only to find someone had shit in the urinal. And it wasn't just a discreet little poo - it was a gigantic, sloppy, stinking turd. I mean, who would do that? Really, who? Can you imagine just thinking to yourself "Oh, I need a poo - I may as well just perch myself up here then, sure who cares if someone walks in on me as I'm shitting in the urinal". And another thing, what nightclub leaves shit in a urinal? It was there all night. That's Slappers for you.

2005-09-14T18:08:00.000+01:00

No, I'm not dead, and yes I am back. In one piece. Does that answer everybody's questions?

Will post a.s.a.p including photos from New Yoik (that's my poor attempt at a Long Island accent)!

Mega-Update!

2005-08-05T00:33:00.000+01:00

For those of you who are still hanging around here, yes I am still alive. I haven't had the inclination to blog about anything much in a long time - maybe all my creative juices have finally leaked out.

So Baltimore is indeed a fine place - if you're some kind of mugger or crack-whore. The university itself is nice and expensive looking, with big white columns on most of the buildings - just to emphasise how well-to-do you must be to attend. The people Im working with are also pretty cool I have to say, and I have made a few friends, which has made the time here all the more bareable. The city itself is another matter. For example, one of the students who was here was driving his scooter, when a gang of kids tried to pull him off the bike by his packpack, while he was stopped at a traffic light, and at the same time another gang of kids were trying to hijack a moving car by attempting to smash the windows in with half a tree trunk. Also one of the girls got mugged by someone with a gun the day she arrived, and another student from the university was mugged just outside the grounds in the early afternoon. The local paper has quite a jovial column on the number of homicides that are commited each week. Currently I think the count is around 20 or so, from the time Ive been here - although the paper only includes deaths by gunshot. So you see, the city does have a really good sense of community.

Actually, around where Im staying isnt so bad, but you cant walk a block east or west, without feeling extremely intimidated, and its far too dangerous to walk into town or anything, which kind of limits the possibilities of what one can do with one's time. Luckily, the work load is ridiculous - hence me being the only person in the lab at 8pm, and any time off is usually spent hanging around in someone else's apartment, which leaves me less time to get homesick, which is a very good thing.

So what have I done since Ive been here....well not a hell of a lot really. Went to Ann Arbor in the second week to give a paper at a conference, which was truly horrific. The hotel I was staying in was 5 miles from the city centre. At my talk I basically got told that the research Id done was a load of shit, by a complete asshole, from Microsoft nonetheless. And having no company or colleagues to back me up it really was a deer-in-the-headlights moment. I just got the fuck out of there as quickly as I could and off to the only gay bar in the town. It was a nice enough spot and I had a drink outdoors. When leaving, some guy who'd been hanging around the bar attempted to cruise me, and when he saw me getting into the taxi that I had rang from the bar, he gestured suggestively at me and made it clear that he had money to pay me for my..err...'company'. So what a fantastic day that was - to be called a failure and a prostitute, who could ask for anything more. The taxi man, being a fellow pink-player then suggested I go out and have some fun for the night, despite the fact I told him I had a boyfriend. Its nice to see Michigan has morals!

Another weekend I went up to New York City, getting a free lift from someone here. I met up with a few friends on J1. We attempted to go out Saturday night to some gay club, which I was really looking forward to, as, up to then, my social life had been somewhat lacking. However, a bottle and a half of wine later and I was in absolutely no condition to go anywhere. I think I got as far as Manhattan before I had to be taken back to their apartment in Queens, aparantly falling on some innocent woman on the subway along the way, who thought I was attacking her. I passed out back in the apartment and had an extremely unpleasant journey back to Baltimore the following day. The thing is, I didnt even drink that much, but it was just a mixture of the heat and the fact I hadnt eaten dinner that day. Oh well.

So since then Ive just been surviving the swealtering heat and never-ending, completely unsatisfying, work. I have been out a few times, including a local arts festival which was pretty cool, and one or two nights on the town, including a trip to the Baja Beach Club, which was full of topless guys (yumm) and sleazy older drunkards molesting the closest innocent Baltimorian female (not so yumm) - it brought back so many fond memories of Copperface Jack's (although, it must be noted, I have only been there once and after being confronted with a huge turd in men's urinals, I vowed never to return again - its just not that kind of action I was after).

Ive only around two and half weeks here before I head to New York for a week of fun and frolicks with the boyf who's flying over. I can't fucking wait!

Off to the USA

2005-06-24T13:14:00.000+01:00

Despite my recent lack of posting, I am still alive....barely. This is just a short one to let you know that Im off on Sunday to Baltimore, where I will be till the end of August. Hopefully Ill get back into blogging while I'm away to recant tales of my adventures. Wish me luck!

And to all my limp-wristed brothers and sensible-shoe wearing sisters out there...Happy Pride!!!!

Show me the way....

2005-05-21T11:28:00.000+01:00

I just had to link to this video created by the British Troops in Iraq. (via Proceed at your own Risk).

Let the Good Times Roll!

2005-05-17T18:51:00.000+01:00

First and foremost, thanks to everyone who made an appearance on Fri night -and to everyone who couldn't. I had a fantastic birthday weekend! I would say memorable, but the fact is I can't quite remember all of it. I took Friday off to prepare. I needed the lie-in after slaving away making the king of all birthday treats, rice-crispy buns, for everyone the night before. My sis took me to lunch in Luigi Malones where I indulged in a great big slice of toblerone cheesecake for desert...mmm. People started to arrive around 8, but the place was packed by 9 - I think everyone I invited showed up. Had the music blaring, but still conversation was so loud you couldn't really hear it. Most people were talking about the photos that I had showing on the TV after I hooked up Dee's laptop, so was well chuffed that it worked out. Got fairly merry on the punch Id made up, then everyone headed into the Dragon just after the water in the apartment failed, and people couldnt wait much longer to use the toilets before their bladders imploded. After that I don't really remember that much (which I naturally blame everyone else for) - apart from cocktail after cocktatil being handed to me, and the moment when a condom landed in Ciaran's drink. Who said gay bars weren't classy! Even my brother came along, which was a huge deal for me, which I let him know in a drunken text on the way home, after the boyf had to escort me home in a taxi early as I couldn't stand up straight. Paid for it the next day as I shouted down the big white telephone, which wouldn't flush cause the water was still off, making everything seem that extra bit nasty. We didn't actually get our water back till Monday - which led to us living in a somehwat Flistone-state, having to resort to filling up the toilet manually and splashing our faces with dirty dishwater.

Sunday started fantastically when boyf woke me up and to my delight presented me with the best birthday present ever....an iPod photo! I couldn't believe it - esp as he's not working at the moment. It's fantastic timing as I can now bring my entire music collection to the states with me. I bet your all jealous....go on...admit it! Have to get a cover soon for it though - cause I can't bare the thought of getting it scratched. I had dinner with the family + boyf, followed by some delicious extra-chocolatey cheesecake he made for me. Was just a really nice and relaxing day, and the perfect ending to a fucking excellent weekend...Roll on 25!!

In other news - this blog has been selected as the "Best Personal Gay Blog" this week by Best Gay Blogs in the self category. And Ive won tickets to Glitz tonight, so Laddy Luck (no, it's not a typo) seems to be siding with me! Way to go me!

By By Fishies

2005-05-10T18:36:00.000+01:00

Im all over the place this past week, so forgiveness for not posting...once things settle down Ill get back to some more regular posting. I'm up to my eyeballs in work. Got the last paper I wrote accepted to a conference in Michican, so it means Ill be going there the same date I was supposed to head out to Baltimore, and fly from there to Baltimore a few days late. Im also working on two other papers that have to be finished by the end of the month, and haven't even started my transfer paper, plus I've all this work to do before the meeting in New York at the beginning of next month, so its crazy. Have had to cancel my dental appointments, so guess my teeth will just have to stay fucked up for a little bit longer. Had a great weekend though. Went to the opening of the Dragon - the new gay bar on George's street, formally Sosume. The place looks fantastic. They've moved the dancefloor downstairs at the back, and put an open-air smoking balcony upstairs at the back. Im sorry to say Dave, that the fish are gone - actually I think they were serving them as apperatifs at the opening party. Was great cause they had free cocktails at the start of the night, then all drinks were 2eur up till midnight. Didnt really take full advantage of it tho, as I was tired and had to be in college early the next day. Went to see Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy on Fri night - was better than I expected, but still far, far too British for my tastes, if you know what I mean. On Sat night I went out to the Flounge and met up with a few of my old LGB soc people for drinks - then headed onto the Dragon afterwards. It was packed and lots of faces haven't seen out and about before - then again I haven't really been out and about properly in ages. And this weekend is going to be even better as its by birthday!! Celebrating with drinks at mine before heading out - looking forward to it, though its all a bit hectic trying to get in touch with everyone and planning things etc. Im sure you'll hear all about it.

Some People Don't Change

2005-04-28T18:30:00.000+01:00

I don’t know really how much detail I can go into here, without risking the certain anonymity of the situation, but I’ll do my best. It’s safe to say that most people everybody that knows me will know exactly to what I’m referring, so I suppose that will have to do. To the rest, I apologies if what follows seems non-sensical.

I found out the other day that people who used to be reasonably close friends have been bitching about me behind my back. Now, its not that the bitching has made me refer to them as former-friends, I still consider them as friends, its just since the whole thing started way back when my opinion of them has become somewhat tainted.

A while back I got completely caught up in an on-running situation involving a few different people’s relationships, from different groups of friends. The basic story is that there was (as it looked to me, and to many others) some unfaithfulness going on and basically a big mess ensued into which I was unwittingly dragged, mainly because it was completely unavoidable, to a certain extent. People on ones side were asking me to hide facts from other people, who in turn asked me if I knew what was going on, to which I had to play dumb. Although I did not directly tell people what was going on and did my best to not get directly involved, because frankly it was none of my business (which I realise now, more so than I did then), I think the fact that the word eventually got out did not bode well for me. To hear that the whole thing has resurfaced again just makes me sigh.

Apparently the main two people involved, who are now back together, have been talking about me behind my back in order to validate their relationship. They’ve been saying that I made everything up about the two-timing because I’m a “drama-queen”. I mean, why would I even make up that shit – I may have my own opinion about what was going on, but why would I lie? What did I have to gain from the whole thing? The fact of the matter is, I’m not the only one who saw what was going on. To hear that they’ve been calling me a liar behind my back, does not really make me that angry or upset, it makes me disappointed. Disappointed by the fact that things don’t seem to have changed. Disappointed that people have to resort back to such petty measures. At the end of the day it seems that people don't really change really, they just become slightly different versions of themselves – maybe a bit more mature, maybe a bit wiser, but still, deep-down, they’re the same.

I think I'm just going to ignore it. I think my best option is to avoid involvement at all costs.

If people are totally confused let me know.

Boy For Sale

2005-04-27T17:55:00.000+01:00

I had to post a link to this listing on EBay, via towleroad. How desperate can some people get?

*UPDATE: The link has been removed, quite possibly because slavery/prostitution is disallowed by ebays terms & conditions.

The Word of God...in Colour

2005-04-26T17:57:00.000+01:00

The Bible...with illustrations! I never knew Godzilla was in Revelations either. Maybe I should have paid more attention in religion class.

All that Jazz

2005-04-19T16:25:00.000+01:00

We had to get up at 6.30 on Friday morning in order to get a taxi to the airport in time to catch our plane to...London! He had the flights booked so that we would get over nice an early so we could grab some lunch before checking into our hotel. The train from Stanstead to Liverpool St. Station was absolutely packed meaning we had to stand for the 45min journey along with a lot of other people. We had contemplated sneaking into First Class, but decided against it. It was funny however, when we were getting off the train an extremely posh British woman opened the first class carriage doors, looked at us disgustedly like the lower-class train-travelers we were, expecting us to move out of her way, and instead got stuck in the automatic closing doors, while trying to retain a dignified look on her well-chewed-toffee face. Karma's a bitch!

We arrived at the station, and grabbed the tube. For the whole trip I was working blindly, as I had no clue where we were going and what was planned for the weekend. We got off at Euston station and made our way to our hotel. My jaw dropped when we stopped outside non other than the Hilton hotel! The hotel was really nice, although not completely opulent. We sashayed in....cause it seemed like the place that required a sashay-type entrance, got the keycard from the desk and went to our room. We managed to figure out how to open the stupid door with the keycard just in time as one of the chambermaids, or 'help', walked by in the corridor, about to offer assistance. The room was reasonable size, nice big double bed with white down-filled duvet and pillows, large TV, kettle, gorgeous big bathroom etc. It was just so nice that he put all this thought and organisation into it, especially since it was me who did all the organising for our trip to Paris.

We grabbed some dinner that evening in Garfunkel's just off Oxford Street, before going back to the hotel to get ready for the evening. All I new was to wear something dressy and that we had to be there at 8. We got off the tube at Charring Cross, and from there walked up to the Adelphi Theatre to take our seats for the 8.30 show of Chicago! I mean, the flights, the hotel and now a west-end show! I couldn't believe it!

The seats we had were in the second row, meaning we were basically right up against the stage. The show was fantastic - especially seeing as we got an extra-special view of the male performers in their awe-inspiring, crotch-hugging, ass-lifting trousers and bare chests. There was so much action at times that my head was spinning to catch it all on stage. The lighting and live jazz band were amazing, as well as the dancing and singing. Michael French (ex-Eastenders) who played Billy Flynn just proved how shit Richard Gere was in the film. I really really enjoyed it - much more so than I had expected too. Although, the German-tinged over-emphasised Am-or-icayne accent of the actress playing Velma Kelly at times made me chuckle - especially during the "I love this country (America)" speeches. The show was all that jazz, and much, much more.

After a fantastic nights sleep, we spent most of the day Saturday around Oxford Street doing a bit of shopping, although I was a little disappointed that nothing was that much cheaper than it is at home. And is it just me or do all the London men look, well, gay? I mean the straight ones. It seems like GHD owes its existence to the London metrosexual (or here) population - simply due to the fact that every second man had a straightened 'do, which reeked havoc on the gaydar. And don't get me started on the clothes they wear - tight t-shirts, crotch-hugging jeans and tailored suits. My gaydar was sent into even further confusion when we went out that night to G.A.Y. All the gay men looked 'straighter' than the straight men, right down to their ben sherman shirts *shiver*.

G.A.Y. looked like an older version of the Redbox. Located in the Astoria theatre, the place was huge - with a big stage, big dance floor, seating up on the balcony and second bar at the back. The music was pure 90s with P.A.'s from Michelle Gayle, Chesney Hawkes and Dana International. Chesney proved to be the most entertaining on the night - getting the crowd going with a rendition of American Pie. Michelle Gayle seemed to forget the words to her own song and Dana was basically a glorified drag-show complete with bad miming and glittery body-suit. One thing that struck me as really odd, was that hardly anybody who got up on the stage danced. They just stood there, so why the fuck did they bother to get up there in the first place?? All in all, not that many people were really dancing - it was more of a stand-around-the-place-and-shuffle-your- feet-side-to-side type of affair. Very strange indeed. We had a laugh, though there was only so much of old Steps, Corona and N-trance we could take before we called it a night. We flew home on Sunday (incidentally a mix up resulted in us being 2 hours early for our flight) after having a fantastic weekend in London. Highly recommended!

Mystery Annivesary Weekend

2005-04-14T17:40:00.000+01:00

So the weekend has come and passed, without too much pain. After all the stress and work involved and the 9-7 Saturday and Sunday, inlcuding entertaining duties on Saturday night, I figured I needed the rest so I basically took Monday off and have been doing fuck all this week in work. Everyone at the workshop at the weekend was nice, apart from the cunt that is the main guy from Hong Kong.

He is very well known and respected in his research area but he also likes people to be aware of this fact. He has the knack of being able to make someone as clever as Einstein feel stupid. We would have got twice as much work done if he hadn't kept interrupting with arguments about terminology and quoting random papers that nobody else had read, much to his delight. He's just the time of guy elligible for a good ol' cock-punch. On the Saturday night he was even more annoying asking stupid questions about what is "traditional" Irish food and was quite dissapointed that my answers didn't match those in his guide book, and on buying whiskey he proclaimed - "this is no good, it tastes like any other whiskey". What the fuck did you expect?!? After all that, I think I deserved to take the week easy. I learnt that the second meeting in New York is on the weekend of my birthday, which is more fantastic news - but at least I get a trip to NYC for free, even if I have to put the money up front first.

This weekend is our anniversary (I can't belive its been one year already - is that a good or a bad thing? I, myself, actually feel really good about the whole thing which is definitely a step forward from my past neurosis!), so the boyf has has something planned for ages, which he wouldn't tell me anything about. The only thing I knew was that I had to take this Friday (tomorrow off) and have no plans for the weekend. I got the following email on Wednesday with some more information:

The following items shall be required for this weekend: A Passport. 300 euros. Three sets of clothes covering the basic needs of casual and dressy. 2 sets of shoes. Hair and facial products Enough Insulin etc. for three days. An inquisitive mind. Be at ____ this Thursday night. This email shall now self-destruct.

I have a few ideas of what he might have planned, but I'm trying not to think about them to keep the whole thing a surprise. Im actually really excited about it....I get goosebumps even now thinking about it.

!Stressed!

2005-04-05T11:45:00.000+01:00

Apologise for not posting in a while, but I've been under an unbelievable amount of stress these past weeks. Not only do I have shit loads of reading to do, inlcuding learning a new programming language (C++) for the first of the John Hopkins workshop meetings here this weekend (resulting in my whole weekend being taken up and missing my friends birthday on Sat) , but Im trying to run a load of experiments and write a paper before this Friday - which has led to me being stuck in college till 8 most days last week. All this plus trying to spend time with the boyf and my friends at the weekend, Dave R moving to Brummie-land (we're gonna miss you Dave!!), getting my US visa sorted out and paying bills and rent has led to a complete lack of proper sleep, bad skin, shin splints from shitty shoes and an overall complete head-melt.

I just can't wait till this fucking week is over. At least I've Kylie to look forward to on Thurs night, that is if I can get everything else done in the meantime.

We Want Konnt

2005-03-14T17:55:00.000Z

I had a ball last night at the eleventh Alternative Miss Ireland in the Olympia, a take on the Miss World pageant and organised to raise money for charity. It was my first time going, so didn’t know really what to expect – another drag show of men in dresses miming out of sync, or something really awful. Well it was a fabulous surprise, in the best sense of the word surprise, and fabulous. The stage was set with a hilarious opening act, with Panti, Veda miming to an excerpt from Gone with the Wind, the two of them being completely upstaged by Shirley Temple Bar riding in on a stuffed horse and hilariously colliding with a makeshift fence.

I have to say I was extremely impressed with the amount of effort each of the contestants put into the event (apart from one or two ‘touched’ individuals), especially Miss Wexford O’Grady and Miss Heidi Konnt and her Von Tramp family, who after a hilarious rendition of the Sound of Music’s “Do-a-Deer-Fist-Me” and Madonna’s “Hanky-Panky” with the revised chorus of “all you want to do is Fist Me” beat the competition to claim the crown, with a cheer of “we want konnt” bellowing up from the crowd. I especially liked the way she kept on propositioning Senator David Norris. She was borderline offensive, and even went over a couple of times but it was all in good fun.

Other honourable mentions include Davina Devine and her whole take of the Barbie thing complete with gorgeous Ken, who in actual fact is a friend of the BFs, and Sade O Saphic who did a great routine to “Mein Heir” from Cabaret and later mimed to Turning Japanese while topless with black electrical tape over her nipples, being tied up Japanese rope bondage-style. Ah lesbians, you gotta love ‘em.

Check out more photos.

Speaking of the Sound of Music – check out these lyrics.

Eight weeks of Solitude

2005-03-09T15:45:00.000Z

In the past few weeks I've found out that I'll be going to John Hopkins University, Baltimore for 6 weeks in July/Aug to attend a research workshop. I wasn't particularly keen on the idea. I know it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and is a very prestigious workshop to attend etc, but I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to go. For one, it reinforced the question in my mind about why I really am doing what I'm doing especially if I'm not into it all that much. This means that I'll be away working with a top-class research team, all of whom are probably extremely intelligent/nerdy/interested in their research, which will just probably make me feel more of a fraud. Also I'll be away from friends and loved ones for a considerable amount of time. It's not as though it's even a fun trip - it's a work trip. Ill be there with my supervisor and his family, and maybe a post-doc from college, but its not going to be exactly a great social event.

However, on hearing that I will be paid quite a reasonable amount to attend, I warmed a bit more to the idea. My boyf also said he'd come over for a week or so to visit me, which would be fantastic, although he wasn't too happy about the whole idea of me being away for so long, understandably enough. Plus I might get to see my relatives in New York as its not that far away.

But a huge dampener has just been put on things as I've just found out that I have to go for eight not six weeks. That's basically my whole summer - the end of June, all of July and most of August. Six weeks I could just about cope with, but eight. It's just too long to be away on my own. Am I being unreasonable? Maybe it won't be so bad, or maybe it will. It's the latter that worries me. And from the reports I've heard about Baltimore, apparently it isn't the most exciting place to spend a week, let alone eight.

2005-03-01T14:02:00.000Z

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Tales of the Weird

2005-02-22T15:51:00.000Z

Came across this while surfing the web. Looks like something out of the National Enquirer, but apparantly it's true.

Egyptian Doctors Remove Baby's Second Head (from Reuters)

Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town...

2005-02-21T15:04:00.000Z

Simpsons' Springfield to legalize gay marriage from CTV via Towleroad.

The whole gay marriage issue is a contentious one. My own opinion is that although it may/may not be something that I wish to do in the future, the option still should be there for us gayers. Sure, what difference does it make - gay or straight? Let people live their lives whatever way they want. One argument against it is that they say that marriage is for straight couples to have children - so what about all the childless couples? Should they be forcibly divorced? That's my two...well one and a half...or maybe more like just a half...cent.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-14T15:23:00.000Z

Happy Valentine's. It really is a day to make single people feel worse about themselves, but I'm actually glad its here this time around. For those who are interested, the history of Valentine's Day. I spent ages making a card last night (that's right - by hand), so hopefully the BF likes it.

And as a respite from the general soppiness...here's my alternative Valentine's card.

This is scary news, and links in nicely with my previous post - new strain of HIV discovered.

A date at the STD clinic

2005-01-25T18:53:00.000Z

So I went and did it, being the responsible gay adult that I am. I went and got tested. I had been thinking about doing it for a while now, but never seemed to get around to it, especially with current news like this making headlines. There is always that niggling doubt at the back of your mind – “What if”. The fact that I’m actually in a happy relationship helped give me the push. The two of us went about two weeks ago. Oh, the romance! A date at the STD clinic – holding hands during the syringing, swabbing, scraping and sampling, who could ask for anything more, I hear you say. I, for one.

It wasn’t as bad as expected. The staff at the clinic couldn’t have been nicer. The worst thing about it was the waiting time – we were there for almost 4 fucking hours before both of us were finished, and we ended up only getting our blood taken because of the huge post-christmas crowd, which is to be expected, I suppose. We went back two weeks later for the results and also for the swabbing part. I can see all of you crossing your legs right now. Well it isn’t that bad, really, apart from the weird sensation you get when she sticks that thing down you-know-where and makes a few little scratches and the uncomfortableness that lasts for an hour or so afterwards. I got the results of that there and then, and thank god ‘twas all clear.

I had been so nervous waiting for the blood-test results. At first I was worried that I might have something, but then I became even more worried about what if he had something – what would he do, but more importantly, what would I do – how would I react. It made me quickly realise how much he does actually mean to me (excuse the soppiness), the fact that at a time like that his well being was more important to me than my own. It is a nice thing to realise.

So I encourage all of you who are in a relationship and are maybe doubting it to take an improptu trip to the STD clinic. Maybe even bring some champagne and a lobster and make a night of it. Well, it would be original at least - Darling, would you care for more champagne to accompany your anal swabbing?

Sniffle

2005-01-18T14:38:00.000Z

I just spent 18 fucking euro on a bloody antibiotic prescription! I've been trying to get rid of this cunting cough for the last week, so I told myself I better get it checked out. Surprise, surprise I was put on an antibiotic, the usual doctor fix. I'd say they spend about 85% of their time writing prescriptions for antibiotics, 10% writing sick notes and the remaining 5% counting their riches. Well I hope it makes you happy Dr., if that is your real name. Does your money make you feel better, does it hug you at night and tell you it loves you?
It does?
Well, fuck you.

And apparantly, for those of you interested in real estate, a big dick helps to sell houses.

Paris Photos

2005-01-13T14:08:00.000Z

So much has happened since the last post, including Christmas, my fantastic appartment-warming party which everyone turned up at - hey hope you all had a good time. The last few hours or so are a bit fuzzy, but the reports I've gotten back tell me I didn't make too much of a fool of myself! Photos from that should be up soon enough, for those of you who know where to find them. There was also New Year's which I spent in Belfast, but unfortunately didn't go out. Twas alright - was nice to ring in the New Year with the boyf though - cause they always say you should always start the year how you want to finish it. Anyway, I've eventually gotten around to sorting out the multitude of photos on my camera, and here are one or two from the trip to Paris back in November. I will get back to regular posting pretty soon, well as soon as I've gotten rid of this fucking flu. At the moment it feels like someone is sitting on my chest, and not in a good way.

Eiffel Tower at night

Walkway in Pompidou Center

Cathedral de Notre-Dame

Clock at Museé d'Orsay

Champs Elysées from Arc de Triomphe

Jingle all the way....to the Rehab Centre

2004-12-16T16:44:00.000Z

Well if the past few days are anything to go by, this Christmas looks like it might just be a good one, or maybe just a fun-filled, intoxicated, incoherent one! In actual fact, come to think of it, it's going to be my first 'official' gay Christmas :) and it'll be a great way to celbrate the year and everything I've gone through. Plus I've got a sudden surge of creative babbling energy, so I might as well continue since I'm on a roll....

Festivites started on Friday with Steve Austin's birthday in Whelan's after being out for dinner with Dee and her family for her graduation. Myself and boyf arrived about an hour before everyone else and were subjected the worst possible redition of Christmas songs by some old bogger on the guitar, accompanied, bizzarrly, by a cello and a fiddle (!?). This resulted in the boyf being in a bit of a pissy mood, understandibly. God it was excruciating. Things livened up anyway later on when Steve and the rest of the gang arrived and the singing muck-savage was replaced by a dj. In turned out to be a good laugh and was great seeing everyone out together again.

Then on Saturday, I arrived back to the apartment (which is great by the way) around 10.30 to find Rob, Lou, Ruth, Dee and Orla of all people, having drinks in mine, so I promptly was persuaded to join them with my 5eur and head out to Grand Central for an Easons Christmas party. The bouncer almost made the mistake of not letting me in with my magnificently white runners, but we got in the side entrance anyway. That was an eventful night - bit of dancing etc. I managed to survive on my limited funds and met up with the boyf afterwards after waiting for him for 40mins in the fabulous surroundings of nite-time o'connell st. Turns out he had managed to raid most of the drinks from his work party so I gladly accepted the offered presents, which are still in my fridge supplying me, in part, with my Christmas stock.

Monday night was pretty good too, with the joint LGB and other-societies xmas party in college. Arrived early to meet up with everyone and have one or two free bottles before hand, then headed downstairs to join the festivities. Us, being in our jovial and gay mood, were having a good natter and laugh down the back while the music soc performed a selection of christmas carols in the corner. However we did incur repeated shushes and got told off by the SU president, much to our amusement. Headed into Spy afterwards, almost getting refused entry due to the fact we couldn't prove we were gay. Like, hello, a group of reasonably attractive young men, covered in xmas glitter wasn't a big give away or anything. I woke up Tuesday morning with a pretty bad hangover, which I blame on the goldschlager shots from the night before, so naturally enough I took the day off college.

Tuesday night, again, was another social event. The Scottish guy I met in Geneva was over with his flatmate for her birthday and the Will Young concert, so met up with them in the Flounge before leaving the flatmate into a taxi and then heading off to Glitz. Was a good, if subdued night, due to everyone's tiredness. Plus I got to show my boyf off, which was a nice thing. It was a little tough, dividing my attention between the two, without ignoring my boyf, but I seemed to pull it off okay. I also got offered free Will Young tickets for the Wed night, but turned them down as I just didn't feel right taking them off them when I knew they'd be able to flog them at an extortionate price at the concert. I still feel a little guilty that I didn't really make enough of an effort to show him around Dublin and that, but sure I do have my own life to be getting on with at the same time.

So that was my week, so far. There's another Christmas party on tonight in college, with more free booze, although Im feeling rather jaded after everything. I might just stay around for a bit and then head home to relax, but then again, I might not. Although my hair is looking rahter frightful, so I don't think Ill be venturing out anywhere with it in this state. I think it's started to get a life of it's own - time for a chop methinks.

Content Slipping

2004-12-09T17:32:00.000Z

The content of this blog seems to be slipping considerably of late. I think the main reason for this is the fact that I have lost some of the anonymity that I had when I started off. The majority of my friends new about it, but its when other people start to come along, who you don't necessarily wish to broadcast certain aspects of your life to - i.e. love life, doubts, sick and depraved thoughts. Especially if they come along and start mentioning things that they've read about here. I suppose its imposed some sort of self-censorship which has in turn brought down the entire tone of the blog, but then again I'm sure I can still find things to bitch about. I just can't be as personal, maybe, as I once was. I have to be a little more self-aware. Well, stay with me and we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, you can always look at some other queer blogs. I haven't looked at them all yet, but if any are of particular interest I might just stick them in my links on the left.

At the moment I'm in a bit of a self-reflecting stage. I haven't seen or spoken to the boyf since Monday. No contact. Whatsoever. We decided not to, because I think we were both feeling like we were becoming a little too reliant on each other, well mainly him on me, and I was feeling a lit out of touch with myself. It seems stupid to say, but I miss him. Alot. Scary, I know. Maybe everyone needs to do that every now and then. Just take a tiny breather. Just so you can actually appreciate what you have.

Diamond-Cutters

2004-12-02T11:26:00.000Z

Been up to my ears since I got back from Paris. I've been moving into my new place the past few days. Everything's going well, although the heating sucks so the place is absolutely freezing, especially in the morning. See, 'tis all electric heating and with my anxiousness of ending up with a whopping electricity bill I'm being probably a little too economical. The scrooge in me is leaping for joy. The worst thing is the fact that my bedroom is freezing since it's in an extension at the back of the apartment and I only have a teeny electric heater, which I can't exactly leave on all night for fear of waking up on fire. Literally. I can turn it on before I go to bed, meaning I'm nice and warm, and during the night it's fine cause I'm asleep - it's just in the morning it's so cold that my nipples could cut glass...no make that cut a fine diamond (Well for those of you that know me, that applies most of the time :P )

So anyway, Ill update about the trip to Paris when I get the chance. Maybe even a photo or two.

Ch-ch-changes

2004-11-16T15:05:00.000Z

I was back to my neurotic self last night after going to dance class with the boyf. I dont know what really triggered it off - maybe it was the phone call he made from my phone to his ex. or thinking about our trip to Paris next week. Whatever it was, my head started doing tumbles over itself. I think it's due to the fact that I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

It was recently commented by one of my friends (in a somewhat intoxicated state) that it seems like I'm "getting on with my life", although it feels more like I've lost some element of control I had on it. In the past year I've graduated, come out, had a short (shitty) relationship before entering into my current serious one, fallen in love, become an 'academic', had surgery, and am currently preparing to move out. I think that's a hell of a lot of changes to happen to someone in such a relatively short space of time. It's almost like the life I have now has moved on so much from the one I had a little over a year ago. My whole routine has changed - and I think I've changed in the process. I still feel like I don't want to move on because I thought I was happy in my old life, but I suppose it's the natural progression of things. Maybe moving out might give me a bit of stucture that I need.

I started to think about what I am doing and what direction my life is taking last night, which kinda made my head completely fucked up. What if I've made the wrong decision in doing a PhD, what if I don't get enough work done and get 'fired', what if this relationship is not meant to last, what am I doing moving out, what direction am I heading in?????

So many questions that I just can't answer, and should know better than to ask myself to begin with.

I'm Moving!

2004-11-11T13:22:00.000Z

Myself and Dee got the appartment we went to look at yesterday, so yay! Giving the holding deposit today so will be moving in this weekend :) It's a nice basement appt about 10/15 min walk from the city centre so it suits us perfect. It's got two double rooms, which means I get to have a whole double bed to myself even though my room is on the smaller side. Can't wait to have dinner parties and play charades :p

I'm expecting lots of house-warming gifts, well-wishes and txts from the people that know me.

The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom

2004-11-10T13:03:00.000Z

Go on the gays!
GCN post
The G&L Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Throw 'em in the Liffey!

2004-11-09T15:56:00.000Z

Had a reasonable time DJing at my cousin's 21st on Sat night in her house. Reasonable in the fact that I managed to get a good few up dancing despite the constant requests for me to play shit music, which of course I ignored with an experienced "Yeah sure, after the next song". What was annoying was the fact that I was playing for 7hours and had to ward off her scummy friends as they tried to jump behind the decks to change the music, which of course ended in them breaking them somehow and telling me "Yeah, yer crap" because I didn't stock the scanger-style plastic-knacker techno crap that such people seem to enjoy. At that stage I didn't really give too shits cause it was late and I was slightly drunk since they had 2 kegs and taps at the party. I managed to avoid the whole "It's great the way you came out and everything cause you know I'm down with the whole gay thing" talk with one of my cousin's who I never talk to at the end of the night too, so all in all it was a reasonable success.

What is it with scumbags and scangers anyway? Do they just turn at a certain age, kind of like a "scumbag puberty" or are they just unfortunate enough to be born that way? Either way, they should be disposed of - preferably in a painful manor. Maybe by standing them next to an open fire the copius amounts of plastic clothing that they wear, ala gortex, will cause them to melt away or maybe throw them in the already scum-filled Liffey, alowing them to be dragged down under the weight of their glittering sovereigns and hoopy earings.

Hallow'een

2004-11-01T13:04:00.000Z

So hope everyone had a pleasant Halloween. Myself, went to a 21st in the Mont Clare with the boyf on Fri night. Had a great night. The party itself was a bit crap, but we had our own little party thing going on down at our table, as we were all shouting, dancing, throwing nuts and splilling drinks. Was all good apart from a small little tiff between myself and the other half. It's the first time we've been in a proper argument/fight/delete as appropriate. And I felt so shitty. It only lasted about half hour - but at the same time it was horrible. We made up, although I think I ended up apologising for something I didn't do. It was almost like I had to do it to break the silence, but it worked and there was an apology. I should really not give in so easily to unfounded guilt. At least we made up pretty quickly afterwards (and no, I'm talking abou the quicky-in-the-toilets type of make-up) and enjoyed the rest of the night. We ended up going to Isoldes, but didn't all get in, so just bought some take out and went back to one of his friend's apartments till about 4 in the morning.

Plus, in other fabulous news, I bought the Goonies. God, I forgot how much I love that film..."Hey you guys!

Bunting Cus

2004-10-29T14:45:00.000+01:00

I hate Dublin bus. I mean hate. I went to get the bus from college to John's house last night for the annual Halloween video horrothon (consisted of Versus (shit Japanese film), May (reasonlably good American horror) and Return of the Living Dead (hilarious remake of the original)).

Went for the bus at 6.40, was there in time, but the bus didn't show. I got caught in the fucking rain and got drenched. Then I had to wait until 7.45 for the next bus. Then that bus took 1hr 15 mins to make a 20min journey because of flooding and traffic. My feet were wet, my clothes were wet and I was in a real pissy mood. To make matters worse I'm on stupid antibifuckingotics so couldn't drink, and I really needed one. And to make things even worse I just found out today that I can actually drink with the antibifuckingotics I'm on at the moment. Shitty. Just plain shitty. At least I can have one or two at the 21st I'm going to tonight and the house party tomorrow, both involving lots of people I don't know.

Crawling

2004-10-22T14:38:00.000+01:00

I'm sick and hungover - the worst combination in my opinion. I feel terrible, I look even worse....no that's a lie, I look effortlessly amazing, as usual ;p

I hung around after college yesterday for a supposed LGB soc meeting, only to find out that they're not having meetings anymore. How fucking ridiculous is that! It's almost like the society is over before it even had a chance to get off the ground, although the committee have said that they're planning to organise some events, but there's no way anyone is going to go to these events, if they haven't even met anyone else in the soc. It's pretty bad too because any newbies who have joined, obviously are going to loose interest pretty quickly if the society isn't active.

Since there was nothing on, headed into the G along with one of the other members who thought there was a meeting on too. Met up with another and then went to the Hub - which was pretty empty but still the music was fantastic. Bit of dancing, bit of drinking, crawled home at 4am, crawled into college for about 1.30 and now I think I'm just going to continue crawling...all the way home into bed!

Hungover Developments

2004-10-08T17:17:00.000+01:00

I had a great night last night at the student LGB pub crawl. Made it to Gubu, Yello and then the G afterwards, and there was a huge crowd out so the place was buzzing. Met up with a few friends from the soc. last year and talked to one or two of the people in the new soc, although I'm sure they think we were some sort of bitchy-queen group cause we were segregated from them for most of the evening, but it was me that made the effort of finding them, and then introducing myself around to everyone, although my drunken confidence may have given people the wrong impression of me, but who the fuck cares. They seem like a nice enough bunch, so will see how it goes.

Anyway, dragged myself into college and promptly set about making a few changes to the blog, one of which you may have noticed already - the fancy new title-thing, which I may yet change again. I also added a script which will randomly select one of a number of quotes, each time you view the page, so click on refresh and see what happens....tis magic!

In addition, I am very disapppointed with the lack of photography suggestions, so come on people, I'm counting on you.

Photo Requests

2004-10-05T14:33:00.000+01:00

This is a suggestion from the people at blogger, which I thought I'd run with...

Ask your readers to think of three photos they'd like to see posted to your blog. (Things around your house or whatever.) When you have enough requests, post them!

So that's exactly what I'm doing, so fire away, if anyone has any requests that is. It will give me a good excuse to use my digital camera anyway, the closest nerd that I am.

Still here

2004-10-04T15:57:00.000+01:00

Apologies for not posting an entry in so long, but it's just that I've really had nothing much to say, let alone felt like posting anything... but today I just got some strange surge of energy, so decided to post.

I've been very lethargic of late, not really doing much work in college, not keeping this thing up to date and I didn't even write that article for QueerID that I had promised, basically because I was too chicken-shit and apathetic to write anything for them (it's something that I still think I should have made myself do). So much for my Carrie Bradshaw-esque fantasy! Pretty much everything in my life as slowed down somewhat since I've been going out with A, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I suppose. It's just that I do miss the whole going out a couple nights a week, or the hanging out with my straight friends in straight clubs, or the whole excitement that used to be there whenever I went out to the G or wherever. I think the whole buzz that I used to have has dispelled somewhat - maybe it's just that I'm a little older (which I don't like to think about) which has led me to reminisce a little, or maybe it's just that I'm feeling a little more settled. The excitement I used to have going out is gone, probably down to the fact that I now have the security of having someone and don't have to think about checking out people, or imagine who I might end up with etc. It's not like I ever really pulled that often, but the whole possibility of it was still there, away in the background. On the other hand, it is really nice to have someone. I just don't want to leave my life, as it was before, behind me completely because I have to remember that if things ever end (which I sincerely hope they never do) I need to be able to survive on my own. And on I ramble still...

I have been getting back a bit to the way things were though, with the total drunk-fest that was the weekend just gone. Went out with Dee & Lou and propmtly got extremely drunk after downing two bottles of quite agreeable wine. We went out to Dakota first, which was packed with people and then onto d two, which I kinda like. The music was very good and there was a good party atmosphere about the place, well at least I thought there was. To be honest, I could have thought that a funeral had a party atmosphere with my level of intoxication. There was lots of dancing and stuff - but the night as a whole is a little blurry. I do remember at one point Dee finding a purse full of money, which we tried to give to the DJ, but who refused to take it off us, probably cause we were wasted and kept asking him to play Girls Aloud, which I don't imagine he was too impressed with :p I wonder what happened to the purse....Dee I'm looking in your direction with a suspicious raised-eyebrow glare.

Clubs and Socs day in college is on this week. I'm thinking about getting involved in the LGB soc and have already volunteered my services as webmaster. Even though I don't necessarily need the soc no more, I still understand that there are other people around who do need it and plus enlarging my already huge social circle, being the popular and stunning person that I am, isn't such a bad thing :p

Gaydar-a-go-go

2004-08-28T13:29:00.000+01:00

I new it! I should have trusted it all along! Turns out that the Scottish guy is in fact gay. I went to the conference banquet on Thursday night, and was downing the wine as if there was no tomorrow - seeing as I deserved to celebrate after my presentation went well. I got to chat drunkenly to a few big names, which was cool, and myself and the Scottish lad, had at least 2 bottles of wine drank before the security turned agro and kicked the group of us that were left out of the building, but the two of us managed to grab a bottle of wine on our way out. We drank it on our way to the Irish pub where we met the other two people who are over here from Dublin. Stayed there till they kicked us out, and on the way home, we were discussing the last cd's we'd listened to. With my deliberate selection of George Michael and the Scissor Sisters, and his of Elton John, there was a happy realisation. So when the other two headed off, we laughed about how stupid we both were not to just come out and said it in the beginning, but agreed that the whole skipping around the issue had to be done at the same time, as neither of us was sure of the other person's situation. It's nice because we seem to get on so well, but there's no confusion about the fact that we're not interested in each other. So tonight we're going to check out the gay club here, which we mentioned to the other two Dublin people today, officially outing myself at work as they had no clue, but there was a distinct lack of a reaction when it was said, so Im not quite sure how to take that. I'm really looking forward to tonight now!

En Genève

2004-08-24T11:38:00.000+01:00

Oui, c'est vrai, je suis en Genève! Sorry for the lack of postage y'all but I'm at a conference in Geneva until Sunday. So far it's been going ok. Some interesting enough talks, but still its quite tiring - presentations from 9 till 6 every day. And Im still shitting bricks about my talk on Thurs, but I'll let you all know how it goes. Havent't really been getting into the whole "networking" thing. Although, have met a nice Scottish guy and my gadar went off as soon as I saw him, but I'm not so sure now. Would be very handy if he was though, 'cause I wouldn't mind checking out some of the bars here to see what they're like. I dont think the guy I'm here with would really be interested, seeing as I don't think he's particularly homo-friendly, and besides I don't think he or my supervisor who Im also here with have a clue. It's not that I'm bothered, it's just since there the only two people I'm over here with it would make more sense to keep quite, unless it comes up of course. Was out last night with two other academic-type friends of the supervisor for a meal, one of whom was talking about a paper she did on Xena and explaining how she had a six-ffot cut-out of her in her bedroom, and later on my suspicions were confirmed when my supervisor said to me, "oh you know, she's a lesbian". Figures.

Selfishness

2004-08-16T15:05:00.000+01:00

Not having been out for ages I made up for it on Friday night. Went to Scatman's house for another of his ill-fated house parties, which actually didn't turn out too bad at all, especially for a straight night out. Incidentally, the whole straight night thing doesn't seem to bother me as much as it did, mainly cause I'm no longer a desperate will-kiss-anything-at-the-end-of-the-night type since being officially in a happy relationship, therefore I don't have the need to go to a gay club as I once did. That's not to say I'm not dying to go and dance my queer ass off in the G some night very soon.

Anyway, back to the story. I arrived at the house at around 9.30, bottle of wine in one hand, bottle of vodka in the other. Luckily enough I brought some cd's with me that enabled me to rescue the party from complete doom. Drank my bottle of wine and moved onto the vodka (just like the good old days). Being in a jovial mood a group of us decided to head into town for a bit of a dance, mainly because some of the undesirables at the party had stuck on slayer or some other wretched trash on the stereo. The only problem was it was already 11.30, but away we went anyway - myself, Dee+hubby, Lou, C+V, to where else but the Palace - ah, the sweet refuge of the drunken heterosexual!

The usual dancing ensued until the place closed. Then back we went to the house, making it back at around 3am, only to find the party had officially ended and all that were left were Scatman himself and Steve Austin. I had previously promised to S.Austin that I would be back sooner to rejoin the festivities, so understandably he was none too pleased with our late arrival. I still actually feel bad about it - especially cause I know that's the only reason he stayed at the party. I can be such an ass sometimes. What makes me feel even worse is that on Saturday night I ended up staying in with the boyf, when I had promised S.Austin in my drunken state that I would head out with him and some others to Whelan’s for a drink. But to be honest, I was just too tired to do anything more than vegetate and watch a Looney Tunes film. I didn't even have sex that night for God's sake - that's how tired I was!

But it makes me ask the question, whether in certain circumstances is it okay to be selfish? Or at least selfish to a certain degree. I have often had the habit of worrying about pleasing others too much, before pleasing myself, but at the same time I can't help but feel bad about the whole thing. Remember, it is me we're talking about here. God, I'm very philosophical today, and not a hint of bitchiness.

Come out of that Internet Closet!

2004-08-09T16:42:00.000+01:00

So, I've been getting lots of hits... mostly coming from the QueerID website, yet nobody is leaving any comments! Come on people, jump out of that Internet closet and scream hello! Its the comments that keep me going from day to day... through all the trouble and strife.... help me overcome any obstacles that may come in my way... blah..blah..blah... Well you get the general idea. Comment!

I've even given you three whole posts in one day! If that's not enough, I just don't know what is anymore.... (cue self-pity)

Barcelona Photos

2004-08-09T11:31:00.000+01:00

Some of the more "arty" photos that I took in Barcelona, for your enjoyment!

Cable Car and view of Barcelona

Monument in Parc Mont Juic

Street in Bari Gotic

Sunset in Parc Guell

Bizarre

2004-08-09T11:21:00.000+01:00

Some people just have way too much time on their hands...but this is very funny all the same. Plus it gives you a chance to waste your time while you wait for me to write a proper post. For now this concise version will have to do...

...I,Robot Thurs night .... reasonably entertaining .... boyfs Fri night .... up till 3 playin PS2 ...... out Sat night in Grand Central ..... drank bottle of wine in 15 mins before hand ..... fantastic cocktails.... drunkeness.... dancing..... compliments on dancing skills from foreign girl who won't let us leave the dancefloor..... glass smashed..... Lousie chatting to 40 year old English guy in Abrakabortion.... run away when taxi comes.... fun had by all..... the end.

Scorcho

2004-07-23T10:18:00.000+01:00

So Im here at this conference in Barcelona and I have never been so hot in my entire life. For the past three days its been 29 degrees in the shade, and with the unbelievably high humidity I think I've already sweated out a couple of people's weight! I think my body is starting to climatise - all I can say is thank God for air-conditioning. Have to say, 'tis a beautiful city, with lots, and I mean lots of beautiful Spanish boys walking around in very suggestive clothing - well my mind fills with many suggestions ;) Don't know if I'm going to be able to stick in though for the 10 days. I can feel myself already getting slightly bored, but that's maybe because all we've done is gotten up at 7 every morning (and I am not a morning person) to attend this bloody conference, that is on for another 3 days. At least tonight there's a banquet on, so might make a night of it and head out afterwards. Still want to check out the gay bars, but amn't sure if I'll get the oppertunity, esp since I'll have to go to them on my own. But I may find a way. I hope to meet up with a gay guy I made friends with while I was away on Erasmus in France next week, so hopefully I'll get to sample the scene then. Vamos!

Barcelona

2004-07-19T13:03:00.000+01:00

Im off to Barcelona tomorrow morning, for 10 days. I'm going to a conference over there so its all paid for....ah the life of a postgrad is a good one! Staying in a hotel for the forst 6 nights, then a hostel for the last 4. I'm actually not as excited about it as I probably should be, but I'm going to make the most of it. Hopefully I'll be able to check out the scene over there - 'tis supposed to be a crazy one!

Anyway, as a result, my posts may be a bit irregular or non-existent for the next few days, just in case you get all panicky thinking "Oh my God, what's happened? Where is he gone? I simply cannot go on living without the witty observations of the one they call Grover!!", cause I will be back.

Pride t-Shirt

2004-07-15T16:02:00.000+01:00

Just for an excuse to see if I can post a picture correctly...here's the tshirt design I wore at Pride '04.

Fabulous, isn't it?!
(Thanks to Mac and Sad Peter Pan for their input)

I'm Famous...Almost

2004-07-12T11:09:00.000+01:00

So I was in the boyf appartment, flicking through the latest copy of Scene City magazine the other day, when, to my shock and amazment, I came across a page containing a description and address of this very blog! I mean way-to-go me! What started out as a passtime to fill the hours of boredom has actually turned into something of a publicity whore! I mean, I'm practically famous, well my blog is. Only problem is now I'm going to have to start writing some decent stuff rather than the usual crap (as contained in this very post). I'm going to be ever so more articulate, descriptive, eloquent even; displaying my flair for the english language and all its intricacies, including my extensive vocabulary......the fuck I am!

I suppose I must say a warm and moist "Hello!", complete with crooked wrist, to all you readers who have found me through the afformentioned article in Scene City magazine! I hope I haven't scared you too much anyway. Underneath all this neurosis I'm actually a nice guy :)

Happy Pride!

2004-07-02T17:48:00.000+01:00

...just forgot to say it. Get out there everyone and be fabulous!

Eileen, you dirty little bitch!

2004-07-02T12:41:00.000+01:00

To my delight I won two tickets to Glitz on Tues night, for a "shorts n shades" pary, although there was little present of either. The place looked the exact same as it always does, even though they claimed it was going to be decked out especially. Well, unless you called a couple of paper suns and a rainbow flag banner decked out. I brought the boyf along. We bumped into a few of his friends, which was nice, including his last ex. And I mean, the ex. The one he is still friends with. The one I was nervous about meeting, but he seemed nice enough. I'm doing my best to not care about the fact he's still friends with him, and in fact I don't really care, although saying that makes it sound like I do care. But I really don't. Which is weird for me, because I'm usually way over-analytical and neurotic about these sort of things, as most people know. I am settling into the whole idea of being in a relationship with someone...i.e. realising that it's not all about the sex, and I'm doing my best to just go with the flow. It seems to be working so far.

Went to see Beautiful Thing in Andrews Lane on Wed night. It was on in the teeniest tiniest theatre I have ever been in. Talk about intimate - the cast were practically sitting on the audience's faces. It was very good and got me thinking about how The Closet Years ^tm were for me growing up, and how much better life's been since.

I had a decent straight night out last night, for Sad Peter Pan's birthday, in Doyles of all places. I am much more self-conscious now dancing in a straight pub, prob due to my developing gayness, and also due to the fact that straight people can't really dance. The whole jittering about is fine....fine if your at a wedding dancing to fucking Come On Eileen, a song which apparantly has a sexual meaning behind it. I don't think I need to explain that one.

You know what cheers me up? Dancin' !

2004-06-24T12:14:00.000+01:00

Another delayed post about what went on last weekend...some things never change. I went to Scatman's house on Fri for his house-warming party. I brought the boyf along. I was a little nervous about how the whole thing would go down seeing as the majority of my friends were at the party - but things went splendidly. It makes it so much easier that he's the type of person that is easy to get along with. The party kinda sucked though. I ended up with some bad bruises on my shins due to some seafront activity on the way home. My god Im a slut. :)

Sat night was the spectacular that was my sister's 21st, at which I was the DJ. I had no major fuck-ups apart from when I stopped the music so that the could bring out the cake, only to be told the cake wasn't ready, so I had to spin another tune, but by the time that was finished the cake still wasn't ready. Ensue a few minutes of uneasy silence. Then when the microphone was switched on for the speech, there was some ear-bleeding feedback followed by the whole volume levels being fucked, but which I managed to overcome with my acute amature DJing skills. There was a great turn-out. My only disappointment was with the fact that apart from my granny and one or two druken aunts nobody got up to dance to my amazing set-list. I would have killed to get away from behind the decks for a second to shake my thang! Although everyone said the music was good, "why the fuck did you not get up and dance then!!!"

I thought my aunts and cousins, who I only usually associate with when necessary at Christmas, were being either unusually friendly or just plain drunk when they kept coming up to me and hugging me and saying they loved me. Obviously my father had had a word in their ear, which they later confirmed when the said they had heard about "my news" and that they were "so happy" for me. My God! It's like I'm the most interesting person in the family all of a sudden, well until the next big tradgedy or family gossip. Well, I suppose everyone likes a bit of drama.

Grass Stains

2004-06-16T11:38:00.000+01:00

What a lovely weekend. I went to the Village on Fri night, after meeting up with a friend from college. The music upstairs was fantastic, though I didn't get a chance to break out the dancing shoes. I did have a good laugh though. It's nice to catch up with people you haven't seen in ages. I must say her knew boyfriend is simply delicious!

Spent the day Saturday with the boyfriend and his friend, which was great. I get on really well with her, and even better with him. Just hanging around with him is cool, though I am being wary of not falling into the habit of spending time with him and not with my friends, and of not being one of those lovey-dovey couples that everyone hates. Although it is hard to keep my hands off him.

I must stop having relations outdoors... (repeat x 300)
Woke up this morning with grass in the most unusual places. That's what u get for fooling around in a neighbour's back garden!

B & B

2004-06-10T14:30:00.000+01:00

I did go to Oh What A Night last Thursday. It's not that it was bad, it just wasn't that good. Too much panto-style action for my liking, but without the standard big ugly fat drag-queen step-mother-sister-witch-fairy-type person and definitely not a good choice for a date. More thought is due for next time.

Had an even gayer weekend with Queer & Alternative at Tease in the Music Centre which was quite good indeed. It was an indie gay night - tunes from White Stripes, Scissor Sisters (big fave of mine at the mo'), No Doubt, NERD, the Stokes...etc. I'd say all of my straight mates would've loved it too, which made me feel very comfortable as it was the type of night out that I became accustomed to during, what we shall call, the closet years.

I got a txt from the guy I've been seeing on Sunday, saying he 'needs to talk', which in my mind meant only one thing. I met up with him Monday evening and sure enough he thought we should stop seeing each other. I can't say I was surprised and agreed with him when he said he thought there was 'something missing' (I know this all sounds so cliché but t'was true). We went back to my place to talk - I had no intention of doing anything else. So talk is what we did, well mostly me. Then, he said he realised that he had learned more about me in those 20 mins than he had for the last 2 months or so. I realised it too - I hadn't talked much at all whenever we went out, which I still can't explain. I just wasn't being myself. Maybe it was because (here comes the Oprah part) I was afraid of not being what he wanted me to be, or at least worrying about it, rather than being myself. It was weird - a dual realisation for both of us, which resulted in us getting back together, this time more officially, and a whole lot more besides... ;) I wish my parents were away every weekend!

So now we're boyfriend & boyfriend. That still sounds weird to me.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw!

2004-06-03T14:13:00.000+01:00

Fill up that inkwell and pull that quill out of your arse - It looks like I may be writing a piece pretty soon for the people of QueerID, who dropped me a mail recently requesting my particular literary skills, so watch this...well their....space.

In other news, if anybody has been telling themselves "Grover couldn't get any gayer" prepare to recant! I'm off to see "Oh What A Night" tonight. Should be fun. Well it better be, seeing as the tickets cost 50eur!! Otherwise I'll be requesting a refund on grounds of "insufficient level of fun attained". I'm thinking a few drinks before hand should get those boogie-shoes-a-movin' Disco-Stu style!