Just finished doing up the layout of the blog. Hope you like. Im still not too sure bout the light blue on the title and headings. Any comments would be appreciated, even from Eoin

Again, feeling a little bored. Got to talk to my supervisor in college today. He went through a few project ideas with me which were all, frankly, quite scary. I don't even know where to begin with them. He's going to photocopy a few papers for me tomorrow so I can start reading them I suppose. At least I got a desk today. Its quite a nice little cubicle - in the corner. They ordered my computer today, so Im naively hoping that it will arrive tomorrow. Well, at least I have desk to sit at and look busy. Was introduced to most of the postgrads, who all seem really nice. Theyre not nerdy at al, suprisingly. I know a few of them already from tutorials and things like that, so I should be ok. My supervisor, Andy, introduced me to them. For one particular postgrad he was like "Oh, I have to introduce you to Brian", so he brought me over to this guy who I am sure is gay. I was standing there thinking, do i like have it tattooed on my fucking forehead. He seemed quite nice though, my suspicions were further strengthened when one of the other postgrads, while eating a fairy cake, made some joke/refernece to this guy Brian, who laughed back, and then he mentioned something bout "bitching". I would go into more detail but I didn't really hear it. I mentioned it to Ciaran, and he suggested that since lots of the postgrads have teddies and posters and stuff around their desks, I should get a Ken doll and dress him up in Barbie's clothes, preferably a pink leotard. While Im on the topic why is that Barbie has breasts to the delight of many a little girl's brother, but Ken is virtually a eunuch.

Speaking of which, check out this little story about Barbie, and I also found this quite funny, although I have to warn you its a bit filthy too.

What?! A post made during daytime hours?? Well the only reason for it is that Im in college and Im bored shitless and have nothing better to do. Arrived in this morning bout 9:30. Just spent the last hour or so hanging around the computer labs cause I dont know what the hell else Im supposed to be doing. The place looks, and feels, exactly the same, although it is, as it always is at the beginning of the year, full with headless first-years, running around looking scared but trying to act cool. It's quite endearing actually. I was thinking of approaching one or two sprightly young freshers, taking them in under my shoulder, telling them all the confusion is quite normal and assuring them that I would be the one to put their confusion at rest ;) Either that or just drag one or two of them into the nearest hedge, kicking and screaming. Ah....college life - such a wealth of possibility................

It was my last day in work today. Ever. I suppose I should feel sad in a way, but to be honest it's kind of a relief. I think it's just because of the fact that I've been working so much in the past few weeks, that I'm actually looking forward to having nothing much to do. I'm starting my PhD tomorrow but I haven't got a clue what I'm doing it on or what I'm supposed to do when I start, but I'm sure it will all sort itself out in the next few weeks. Its like starting school all over again, for the fourth time. I could have probably kept on working just the Sundays, but I felt like I needed to make a complete break. I've been doing the same thing for the past 4 years, so I need to change direction - it was all just getting a little too monotonous for my liking.

In other news, my brother rang me up in work today to tell me that he had found 'something very disturbing' on our bedroom floor - a receipt from the George. I played it off pretty well, acting like it was nothing. He asked me if there was anything I was hiding or if I was "in the fucking closet" or something - all of which I denied. I told him one of my friends must have given it to me. He was silent on the phone until I confirmed that none of them were lesbians or anything. I think he bought it. Its not that Im avoiding the issue, its just that I dont want to tell him yet. The reason? Well, he told my parents that he found it and my Dad immediately started to slag me about it when he picked me up from work, which I pretended to ignore. If my brother is going to do something like that when I eventually come out to him, Im going to have to time it very well. The thing is, I bet he told my parents even before he rang me in work - like you think if he was really serious about it, or had even thought about it properly, he would have waited and asked me face-to-face when I got home. And I'll tell you this much - I was shitting myself all day in work about it, but thankfully it seems to have gone ok. I havent seen my brother yet though. Hopefully he wont bring it up again.

Dave's headed off to Wolverhampton this morning. He'll be gone for a year. Im going to miss him, as Im sure everyone else will. Dave, if you're reading this - soapy ;)

Following the recent conversation with my friends concerning Fraggles and all, check this out.

Why am I such a chicken-shit? Was out last night with Louise, Dee, Orla, Rob & co. We went to Down Under. The place was pretty empty when we arrived, but the were playing really good music, apart from the fact that the start of most of the tracks skipped - whether that was a piss-poor attempt by the dj at scratching or just dodgy equipment i'll never know. It filled up and was fairly packed by 11:30. I was having a great time, up dancing at the back beside our table and enjoying the atmosphere but enjoying the really sexy guy who was dancing around the table beside us. My gaydar was well-tuned in. During the course of the night I was actually dancing ass-to-ass with the guy while the rest of my friends kept descreetly pushing me into him. The problem is I never really made a move. I don't know why not, cause I'm nearly sure he was flirting with me (and he was foreign - Spanish I think, and definitely gay cause I heard him say so to one of his friends). Its like I just kind of froze or something and didnt have a clue what to do next. But he never really seemed to catch my eye and I dont think it would have been the best place to make a move, due to the fact that the place was packed to the brim full of "hard" lads who would have quite probably beaten the shit out of us. Its just he was soo cute - like I mean totally my type and a great dancer - boy did he know how to shake that delicious ass of his! But he left bout a half an hour before the night ended. I was so pissed off with myself. I mean I really have to get more confident about that sort of thing. I just dont know why I didnt do anything. I dont know if he was waiting for me to do something, or whether he wasnt really that interested, but Im sure he was cause everyone else there told me he was. My main problem though is the fact that I over analyse things like this. I spent the day in work reliving the whole night in my head, thinking bout what I should have done and what could have happened. But I guess I just have to let it go. Another lost oppertunity, but hopefully there'll be plenty more to come.

Right, this entry is for Bitch McBitch a.k.a. Eoin. Im just too lazy too keep this thing up to date. So whats been going on lately.... Well went out on Wednesday night with Dave, his friend and her gay friend. It was this night that Dave and his friend (Natalie) had been trying to organise for a while, and I was kind of eager too. Not just cause Im desperate and horny, but also because I have absolutely no gay friends and dont know any gay people so I have to start somewhere dont I?? I said "dont I"? So myself and Dave met up in town and then headed to the Front Lounge to meet my new gay best friend ;p I was feeling a little nervous going in, but I kind of always feel like that going into any gay place - its more like the anticipation of possiblilty rather than nercousness really. So we walk up and meet them. She seems nice, quite pretty, and he seems, well gay! No but seriously, it turned out that he was pretty sound. She didnt really say all that much, but I had a good chat with Alan (that was his name methinks) - it was just nice to talk to someone and agree on the same kind of opinions and 'interests'. We had a few drinks there, then, unfortunately Natalie and Dave's other friend Kelly had to leave and get the last bus home. So it was just the three of us left. Think Dave was feeling a bit out of the loop - sure now he knows how I feel sometimes when Im hanging around with all my school friends and there discussing 'capital knockers'. When the Fl closed we drifted over to Isoldes tower and stayed there for a while. I was quite drunk by the end of the night, which I havent been in a while, so it was nice. We got accosted on the way home by some drunken slapper wearing a pair of cheap flip-flops who had somehow got it into her head that Dave had insulted her, then just when we had it sorted out her equally drunken and slapperish friend comes stumbling out of the Chinese and accuses Dave of slagging her off - so it was quite hilarious to watch as myself and Alan realised that the guy he had been waving at through the upstairs window of the fast food place was now actually sitting downstairs and looking out as us with his other mates with a puzzled "i thought you were someone else" expression. Dave and I then jumped in a taxi and left poor Alan to fend for himself (I would htink of it that way as I thought he seemed a lot younger than us, for some reason - me and my pompous seniorority). It kinda reminded me for some reason of that scene in "When Harry met Sally" where Harry and Sally are trying to set each other up with each others friends and on the way home the two friends actually just jump in a taxi together suddenly and fly off, leaving the other two stranded in the street. You'd know what I mean if you saw the film. SO all in all it was a good night - it made me realise Im not that different from other gay guys after all........(everybody - "aaawwhh").