Ch-ch-changes

I was back to my neurotic self last night after going to dance class with the boyf. I dont know what really triggered it off - maybe it was the phone call he made from my phone to his ex. or thinking about our trip to Paris next week. Whatever it was, my head started doing tumbles over itself. I think it's due to the fact that I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

It was recently commented by one of my friends (in a somewhat intoxicated state) that it seems like I'm "getting on with my life", although it feels more like I've lost some element of control I had on it. In the past year I've graduated, come out, had a short (shitty) relationship before entering into my current serious one, fallen in love, become an 'academic', had surgery, and am currently preparing to move out. I think that's a hell of a lot of changes to happen to someone in such a relatively short space of time. It's almost like the life I have now has moved on so much from the one I had a little over a year ago. My whole routine has changed - and I think I've changed in the process. I still feel like I don't want to move on because I thought I was happy in my old life, but I suppose it's the natural progression of things. Maybe moving out might give me a bit of stucture that I need.

I started to think about what I am doing and what direction my life is taking last night, which kinda made my head completely fucked up. What if I've made the wrong decision in doing a PhD, what if I don't get enough work done and get 'fired', what if this relationship is not meant to last, what am I doing moving out, what direction am I heading in?????

So many questions that I just can't answer, and should know better than to ask myself to begin with.

I'm Moving!

Myself and Dee got the appartment we went to look at yesterday, so yay! Giving the holding deposit today so will be moving in this weekend :) It's a nice basement appt about 10/15 min walk from the city centre so it suits us perfect. It's got two double rooms, which means I get to have a whole double bed to myself even though my room is on the smaller side. Can't wait to have dinner parties and play charades :p

I'm expecting lots of house-warming gifts, well-wishes and txts from the people that know me.

The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom

Go on the gays!
   GCN post
   The G&L Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Throw 'em in the Liffey!

Had a reasonable time DJing at my cousin's 21st on Sat night in her house. Reasonable in the fact that I managed to get a good few up dancing despite the constant requests for me to play shit music, which of course I ignored with an experienced "Yeah sure, after the next song". What was annoying was the fact that I was playing for 7hours and had to ward off her scummy friends as they tried to jump behind the decks to change the music, which of course ended in them breaking them somehow and telling me "Yeah, yer crap" because I didn't stock the scanger-style plastic-knacker techno crap that such people seem to enjoy. At that stage I didn't really give too shits cause it was late and I was slightly drunk since they had 2 kegs and taps at the party. I managed to avoid the whole "It's great the way you came out and everything cause you know I'm down with the whole gay thing" talk with one of my cousin's who I never talk to at the end of the night too, so all in all it was a reasonable success.

What is it with scumbags and scangers anyway? Do they just turn at a certain age, kind of like a "scumbag puberty" or are they just unfortunate enough to be born that way? Either way, they should be disposed of - preferably in a painful manor. Maybe by standing them next to an open fire the copius amounts of plastic clothing that they wear, ala gortex, will cause them to melt away or maybe throw them in the already scum-filled Liffey, alowing them to be dragged down under the weight of their glittering sovereigns and hoopy earings.

Hallow'een

So hope everyone had a pleasant Halloween. Myself, went to a 21st in the Mont Clare with the boyf on Fri night. Had a great night. The party itself was a bit crap, but we had our own little party thing going on down at our table, as we were all shouting, dancing, throwing nuts and splilling drinks. Was all good apart from a small little tiff between myself and the other half. It's the first time we've been in a proper argument/fight/delete as appropriate. And I felt so shitty. It only lasted about half hour - but at the same time it was horrible. We made up, although I think I ended up apologising for something I didn't do. It was almost like I had to do it to break the silence, but it worked and there was an apology. I should really not give in so easily to unfounded guilt. At least we made up pretty quickly afterwards (and no, I'm talking abou the quicky-in-the-toilets type of make-up) and enjoyed the rest of the night. We ended up going to Isoldes, but didn't all get in, so just bought some take out and went back to one of his friend's apartments till about 4 in the morning.

Plus, in other fabulous news, I bought the Goonies. God, I forgot how much I love that film..."Hey you guys!