We Want Konnt

I had a ball last night at the eleventh Alternative Miss Ireland in the Olympia, a take on the Miss World pageant and organised to raise money for charity. It was my first time going, so didn’t know really what to expect – another drag show of men in dresses miming out of sync, or something really awful. Well it was a fabulous surprise, in the best sense of the word surprise, and fabulous. The stage was set with a hilarious opening act, with Panti, Veda miming to an excerpt from Gone with the Wind, the two of them being completely upstaged by Shirley Temple Bar riding in on a stuffed horse and hilariously colliding with a makeshift fence.

I have to say I was extremely impressed with the amount of effort each of the contestants put into the event (apart from one or two ‘touched’ individuals), especially Miss Wexford O’Grady and Miss Heidi Konnt and her Von Tramp family, who after a hilarious rendition of the Sound of Music’s “Do-a-Deer-Fist-Me” and Madonna’s “Hanky-Panky” with the revised chorus of “all you want to do is Fist Me” beat the competition to claim the crown, with a cheer of “we want konnt” bellowing up from the crowd. I especially liked the way she kept on propositioning Senator David Norris. She was borderline offensive, and even went over a couple of times but it was all in good fun.

Other honourable mentions include Davina Devine and her whole take of the Barbie thing complete with gorgeous Ken, who in actual fact is a friend of the BFs, and Sade O Saphic who did a great routine to “Mein Heir” from Cabaret and later mimed to Turning Japanese while topless with black electrical tape over her nipples, being tied up Japanese rope bondage-style. Ah lesbians, you gotta love ‘em.

Check out more photos.




Speaking of the Sound of Music – check out these lyrics.

Eight weeks of Solitude

In the past few weeks I've found out that I'll be going to John Hopkins University, Baltimore for 6 weeks in July/Aug to attend a research workshop. I wasn't particularly keen on the idea. I know it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and is a very prestigious workshop to attend etc, but I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to go. For one, it reinforced the question in my mind about why I really am doing what I'm doing especially if I'm not into it all that much. This means that I'll be away working with a top-class research team, all of whom are probably extremely intelligent/nerdy/interested in their research, which will just probably make me feel more of a fraud. Also I'll be away from friends and loved ones for a considerable amount of time. It's not as though it's even a fun trip - it's a work trip. Ill be there with my supervisor and his family, and maybe a post-doc from college, but its not going to be exactly a great social event.

However, on hearing that I will be paid quite a reasonable amount to attend, I warmed a bit more to the idea. My boyf also said he'd come over for a week or so to visit me, which would be fantastic, although he wasn't too happy about the whole idea of me being away for so long, understandably enough. Plus I might get to see my relatives in New York as its not that far away.

But a huge dampener has just been put on things as I've just found out that I have to go for eight not six weeks. That's basically my whole summer - the end of June, all of July and most of August. Six weeks I could just about cope with, but eight. It's just too long to be away on my own. Am I being unreasonable? Maybe it won't be so bad, or maybe it will. It's the latter that worries me. And from the reports I've heard about Baltimore, apparently it isn't the most exciting place to spend a week, let alone eight.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?