Slapper-Face Shit

I can breathe. For the moment anyway. Just finished off my transfer paper, so now I've about three weeks to get the talk ready, so I guess the pressure has eased off a little bit, for now.



Apart from being ridiculously busy in work, I've been out a few times since I've gotten home, catching up with a few mates. My first Wednesday back I ended up in Slapperface Prick's. If there was any tiny niggling heterosexually within my person, it was quickly annihilated as soon as I heard the sound of the Proclaimers over the speakers and saw the crowd of drunken country boys and men in suits feeling up even more intoxicated girls in far too much sequence. I mean, it was just revolting. Thank God Im gay. Really, thank God. The place just reeked of desperation, well I suppose most gay clubs can too - but at least they attempt to be glamorous or more discrete about it. This was just tits-in-your-face lob-it-in-there type stuff and made me feel so awkward. *Shudder*. I suppose I should have expected it. They also had a plastic ice-bin in the middle of the dancefloor to collect water leaking from upstairs. Oh, and don't get me started on the leopard-skin print everywhere! Classy.



I must say, however, it was better than the last time I was in there, when I walked into the gents toilets only to find someone had shit in the urinal. And it wasn't just a discreet little poo - it was a gigantic, sloppy, stinking turd. I mean, who would do that? Really, who? Can you imagine just thinking to yourself "Oh, I need a poo - I may as well just perch myself up here then, sure who cares if someone walks in on me as I'm shitting in the urinal". And another thing, what nightclub leaves shit in a urinal? It was there all night. That's Slappers for you.

No, I'm not dead, and yes I am back. In one piece. Does that answer everybody's questions?



Will post a.s.a.p including photos from New Yoik (that's my poor attempt at a Long Island accent)!