A date at the STD clinic

So I went and did it, being the responsible gay adult that I am. I went and got tested. I had been thinking about doing it for a while now, but never seemed to get around to it, especially with current news like this making headlines. There is always that niggling doubt at the back of your mind – “What if”. The fact that I’m actually in a happy relationship helped give me the push. The two of us went about two weeks ago. Oh, the romance! A date at the STD clinic – holding hands during the syringing, swabbing, scraping and sampling, who could ask for anything more, I hear you say. I, for one.

It wasn’t as bad as expected. The staff at the clinic couldn’t have been nicer. The worst thing about it was the waiting time – we were there for almost 4 fucking hours before both of us were finished, and we ended up only getting our blood taken because of the huge post-christmas crowd, which is to be expected, I suppose. We went back two weeks later for the results and also for the swabbing part. I can see all of you crossing your legs right now. Well it isn’t that bad, really, apart from the weird sensation you get when she sticks that thing down you-know-where and makes a few little scratches and the uncomfortableness that lasts for an hour or so afterwards. I got the results of that there and then, and thank god ‘twas all clear.

I had been so nervous waiting for the blood-test results. At first I was worried that I might have something, but then I became even more worried about what if he had something – what would he do, but more importantly, what would I do – how would I react. It made me quickly realise how much he does actually mean to me (excuse the soppiness), the fact that at a time like that his well being was more important to me than my own. It is a nice thing to realise.

So I encourage all of you who are in a relationship and are maybe doubting it to take an improptu trip to the STD clinic. Maybe even bring some champagne and a lobster and make a night of it. Well, it would be original at least - Darling, would you care for more champagne to accompany your anal swabbing?