Grass Stains

What a lovely weekend. I went to the Village on Fri night, after meeting up with a friend from college. The music upstairs was fantastic, though I didn't get a chance to break out the dancing shoes. I did have a good laugh though. It's nice to catch up with people you haven't seen in ages. I must say her knew boyfriend is simply delicious!

Spent the day Saturday with the boyfriend and his friend, which was great. I get on really well with her, and even better with him. Just hanging around with him is cool, though I am being wary of not falling into the habit of spending time with him and not with my friends, and of not being one of those lovey-dovey couples that everyone hates. Although it is hard to keep my hands off him.

I must stop having relations outdoors... (repeat x 300)
Woke up this morning with grass in the most unusual places. That's what u get for fooling around in a neighbour's back garden!

B & B

I did go to Oh What A Night last Thursday. It's not that it was bad, it just wasn't that good. Too much panto-style action for my liking, but without the standard big ugly fat drag-queen step-mother-sister-witch-fairy-type person and definitely not a good choice for a date. More thought is due for next time.

Had an even gayer weekend with Queer & Alternative at Tease in the Music Centre which was quite good indeed. It was an indie gay night - tunes from White Stripes, Scissor Sisters (big fave of mine at the mo'), No Doubt, NERD, the Stokes...etc. I'd say all of my straight mates would've loved it too, which made me feel very comfortable as it was the type of night out that I became accustomed to during, what we shall call, the closet years.

I got a txt from the guy I've been seeing on Sunday, saying he 'needs to talk', which in my mind meant only one thing. I met up with him Monday evening and sure enough he thought we should stop seeing each other. I can't say I was surprised and agreed with him when he said he thought there was 'something missing' (I know this all sounds so cliché but t'was true). We went back to my place to talk - I had no intention of doing anything else. So talk is what we did, well mostly me. Then, he said he realised that he had learned more about me in those 20 mins than he had for the last 2 months or so. I realised it too - I hadn't talked much at all whenever we went out, which I still can't explain. I just wasn't being myself. Maybe it was because (here comes the Oprah part) I was afraid of not being what he wanted me to be, or at least worrying about it, rather than being myself. It was weird - a dual realisation for both of us, which resulted in us getting back together, this time more officially, and a whole lot more besides... ;) I wish my parents were away every weekend!

So now we're boyfriend & boyfriend. That still sounds weird to me.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw!

Fill up that inkwell and pull that quill out of your arse - It looks like I may be writing a piece pretty soon for the people of QueerID, who dropped me a mail recently requesting my particular literary skills, so watch this...well their....space.

In other news, if anybody has been telling themselves "Grover couldn't get any gayer" prepare to recant! I'm off to see "Oh What A Night" tonight. Should be fun. Well it better be, seeing as the tickets cost 50eur!! Otherwise I'll be requesting a refund on grounds of "insufficient level of fun attained". I'm thinking a few drinks before hand should get those boogie-shoes-a-movin' Disco-Stu style!

Sweat-box Cinema

Twas a fun-filled weekend indeed! Something that I badly needed after an over-worked week in college.

Friday night went swiftly enough, aided by a rancid bottle of red wine drank hastily in a friend's apartment before hand. Then onto Hogan's, which was kind of shite. So myself Dee & Ruth made a quick departure to the G. The music was surprisingly crap. Unless you're e'd off your tits, how can you enjoy that whole techno 'unst-unst' vibe? Me, being a little tipsy, made some failed drunken advances on some random guys on the dancefloor - advances consisting of me dancing up beside them and hoping that my body-popping moves caught their attention. We didn't stay for long and headed home early in a taxi.

I was in the Village on Sat night for a joint birthday-type-celebration. I'm not a huge fan of the place, mainly due to the fact they have never heard of air-conditioning and any time I've been there the dj has played the same hour-long set, repeatedly until closing. And that fuckin' projector! What fun it is to be blinded most of the night! Who the hell wants to watch Cool Hand Luke with the sound off anyway!? I have to say though, that I did have a good time. Mainly just because everybody was out and I got to talk to people I hadn't seen in ages. Im telling you, everywhere is getting gayer by the week, which is fantastic! I mean the place was screaming with them (well metrosexuals at least)! Maybe its just my gaydar is finally clearing out all that static that has been hampering its use for so long.

A Posh Night Out

I went out last night with the postgrads from college. It was a joint-birthday-type-celebration-drinks thing. We went to Kehoe's first. I have never been in a pub before where I have been afraid that at any given moment the floor could give away and we could all plummet to our miserable end. But I was last night. Speak about being traditional, this pub is basically prehistoric. I mean it had a carpet in it for fuck's sake! Although, it did give it a kind of charm. No, I take it back. In reality, its a dump. Thank god it wasn't too packed, because there would have been a severe danger of suffocation - the tiny little windows barely provided enough air as it was! I was relieved enough that we were leaving, but when I heard we were heading to Renards I was even more delighted. One of the guys who was out is an accountant or something so he got us in for free. It wasn't nearly as posh as I expected or hoped. More of a packed sweat-box. The music was great, tiny dancefloor and plenty of ignorant bitches who think that just cause they have some money they can dance on the couches in their stilettos. There were lots of nice looking men in suits though ;) It would be much better with less people.

I'm beginning to dislike straight pubs and clubs more and more. Or maybe its just drunk straight people in straight pubs and clubs.

23

I turned the ripe old age of 23 over the weekend, on Saturday to be exact. For the celebrations we went to the Flounge where high jinx was had by all. I was really pleased with the turn out - I think there were roughly 20 of us there altogether. God, it's fabulous being so popular! The most bizarre turn of events for the evening goes to the moment when my parents, yes you heard it right, my parents show up in the flounge for a drink. That's not to say I'm not appreciative of the effort they're going to to try and be comfortable with the whole situation, but if your parents decided to show up at whatever pub/club you were out in with your friends, trying to get duly hammered, would it not be a tad 'uncomfortable'? It was sweet of them though.

23. It's a bit of a crappy age. It doesn't have the excitement of 21, or even 22, or the foreboding of 24. I feel so old. I'm not ready to be old.

Lunch Lady Bitch-Face

I went and got two sandwiches for my lunch today in the Spar in college. So, I go up to the counter and tell the lovely lady that I would like two white-bread sandwiches please.

"Butter?".
"No thanks - just some mayonnaise"
"So what would you like on them?"
"Well, I'll have the same on both...I.."
"Why?"
"Pardon?"
"Why do you want the same on both? You know you don't have to have the same"

Well, duh! Excuse me, bitch, what's it to you? I'll have my sandwiches whatever way I please!

What kind of question is that to ask anyone anyway?

Mixed Messages

If someone you've been seeing says something to you, along the lines of :

"I'm not really ready to get into a relationship at the moment, because there's just too much going on for me. Because of that, you can't expect me to text you everyday or to be able to meet you every week. But I really like you, sexually not platonically, and I would like to keep dating you. But I might decide one day that I don't want to see you anymore."

How do you take it? I don't think you could get many more mixed messages into a single statement.

Mum, Dad.....I'm gay

So I've said it. But now I wonder whether I should have said anything at all. The two of them were in the sitting room Sunday night, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell them. The reaction was what I expected, to a certain extent.

My mam started sobbing and got up, repeatedly hugging me. I assumed everything was fine. My dad, said that it was fine, that it was my business and he was glad that I told him. Then the shock ensued - my mam just cried for ages and kept swearing, and she never cries or swears. The "how the fuck do you like men" comment kind of took me by surprise. I told them that I was happy with it, that I was never really unhappy about it, and re-assured them that its not all sleazy in the G (well not all of the time) and that they didn't have to worry about being me "taken advantage of". My mam blamed herself, asking if there was anything that she had done, or did anything happen to me. I tried to explain that I didn't just wake up one day, gay, but that I always have been and always will be. I felt sorry that I had upset her so much.

After my dad went to bed, I stayed up for an hour or so with her, tryin to answer questions that she asked, and trying to make sure she was ok. Then I went to bed and she called into me. She kept crying and apologising if she seemed a bit 'back-ward'. It was awful. She didn't have a bad reaction as such, just an upsetting one, and it upset me even more to see her upset. My brother, to my surprise, took it fine. He was a bit upset that I hadn't been able to tell him before and apologised for it, but I told him it was my fault, that I didn't feel ready to tell him.

Its funny how everyone seemed 'upset for me' and uspet for what my life was going to be like, especially since I've had all the shit going on with my life health-wise etc. Right now Im just emotionally drained! But hopefully things are going to work out.....hopefully.

Miss Me?

If the answer is no, then fuck you.

What have I been up to since last...well not alot. Plenty of nights out, a weekend in Galway (don't ask), more teaching, lunch dates... I'm actually, shock horror, starting to kind of see someone, although I'm not sure yet if I can say that. I've met him a few times before, but never really talked. Last Wed, he asked me for my phone number as I was leaving the G, and so we met up on Sat for a coffee. I ended up spending most of the day with him. He's a lot different than I thought he would be, which is a good thing. He's actually quite nice really. At first, I wasn't too sure if I liked him, but after spending the day with him, I think I do. I'm just going to see how it goes, rather than my usual over-obsessing over-analytical approach.

I was thinking about the whole attraction thing the other day. It's fascinating really - what makes someone particularly attractive to you more than others? Of course, we're all attracted to the ideal - whether that be some beefy dude, with brooding eyes or a waif-like blonde with big tits - but is it more than that? What classifies as being attracted to someone? Is it just about imagining yourself in bed with them? Do they immediately make you horny when they walk into a room, do they make you look twice, or is it just a case that they don't turn you off, so to speak? Answers on a postcard....