*Sniffle*

I just spent 18 fucking euro on a bloody antibiotic prescription! I've been trying to get rid of this cunting cough for the last week, so I told myself I better get it checked out. Surprise, surprise I was put on an antibiotic, the usual doctor fix. I'd say they spend about 85% of their time writing prescriptions for antibiotics, 10% writing sick notes and the remaining 5% counting their riches. Well I hope it makes you happy Dr., if that is your real name. Does your money make you feel better, does it hug you at night and tell you it loves you?
It does?
Well, fuck you.


And apparantly, for those of you interested in real estate, a big dick helps to sell houses.

Paris Photos

So much has happened since the last post, including Christmas, my fantastic appartment-warming party which everyone turned up at - hey hope you all had a good time. The last few hours or so are a bit fuzzy, but the reports I've gotten back tell me I didn't make too much of a fool of myself! Photos from that should be up soon enough, for those of you who know where to find them. There was also New Year's which I spent in Belfast, but unfortunately didn't go out. Twas alright - was nice to ring in the New Year with the boyf though - cause they always say you should always start the year how you want to finish it. Anyway, I've eventually gotten around to sorting out the multitude of photos on my camera, and here are one or two from the trip to Paris back in November. I will get back to regular posting pretty soon, well as soon as I've gotten rid of this fucking flu. At the moment it feels like someone is sitting on my chest, and not in a good way.

Eiffel Tower at night





Walkway in Pompidou Center





Cathedral de Notre-Dame





Clock at Museé d'Orsay





Champs Elysées from Arc de Triomphe

Jingle all the way....to the Rehab Centre

Well if the past few days are anything to go by, this Christmas looks like it might just be a good one, or maybe just a fun-filled, intoxicated, incoherent one! In actual fact, come to think of it, it's going to be my first 'official' gay Christmas :) and it'll be a great way to celbrate the year and everything I've gone through. Plus I've got a sudden surge of creative babbling energy, so I might as well continue since I'm on a roll....

Festivites started on Friday with Steve Austin's birthday in Whelan's after being out for dinner with Dee and her family for her graduation. Myself and boyf arrived about an hour before everyone else and were subjected the worst possible redition of Christmas songs by some old bogger on the guitar, accompanied, bizzarrly, by a cello and a fiddle (!?). This resulted in the boyf being in a bit of a pissy mood, understandibly. God it was excruciating. Things livened up anyway later on when Steve and the rest of the gang arrived and the singing muck-savage was replaced by a dj. In turned out to be a good laugh and was great seeing everyone out together again.

Then on Saturday, I arrived back to the apartment (which is great by the way) around 10.30 to find Rob, Lou, Ruth, Dee and Orla of all people, having drinks in mine, so I promptly was persuaded to join them with my 5eur and head out to Grand Central for an Easons Christmas party. The bouncer almost made the mistake of not letting me in with my magnificently white runners, but we got in the side entrance anyway. That was an eventful night - bit of dancing etc. I managed to survive on my limited funds and met up with the boyf afterwards after waiting for him for 40mins in the fabulous surroundings of nite-time o'connell st. Turns out he had managed to raid most of the drinks from his work party so I gladly accepted the offered presents, which are still in my fridge supplying me, in part, with my Christmas stock.

Monday night was pretty good too, with the joint LGB and other-societies xmas party in college. Arrived early to meet up with everyone and have one or two free bottles before hand, then headed downstairs to join the festivities. Us, being in our jovial and gay mood, were having a good natter and laugh down the back while the music soc performed a selection of christmas carols in the corner. However we did incur repeated shushes and got told off by the SU president, much to our amusement. Headed into Spy afterwards, almost getting refused entry due to the fact we couldn't prove we were gay. Like, hello, a group of reasonably attractive young men, covered in xmas glitter wasn't a big give away or anything. I woke up Tuesday morning with a pretty bad hangover, which I blame on the goldschlager shots from the night before, so naturally enough I took the day off college.

Tuesday night, again, was another social event. The Scottish guy I met in Geneva was over with his flatmate for her birthday and the Will Young concert, so met up with them in the Flounge before leaving the flatmate into a taxi and then heading off to Glitz. Was a good, if subdued night, due to everyone's tiredness. Plus I got to show my boyf off, which was a nice thing. It was a little tough, dividing my attention between the two, without ignoring my boyf, but I seemed to pull it off okay. I also got offered free Will Young tickets for the Wed night, but turned them down as I just didn't feel right taking them off them when I knew they'd be able to flog them at an extortionate price at the concert. I still feel a little guilty that I didn't really make enough of an effort to show him around Dublin and that, but sure I do have my own life to be getting on with at the same time.

So that was my week, so far. There's another Christmas party on tonight in college, with more free booze, although Im feeling rather jaded after everything. I might just stay around for a bit and then head home to relax, but then again, I might not. Although my hair is looking rahter frightful, so I don't think Ill be venturing out anywhere with it in this state. I think it's started to get a life of it's own - time for a chop methinks.

Content Slipping

The content of this blog seems to be slipping considerably of late. I think the main reason for this is the fact that I have lost some of the anonymity that I had when I started off. The majority of my friends new about it, but its when other people start to come along, who you don't necessarily wish to broadcast certain aspects of your life to - i.e. love life, doubts, sick and depraved thoughts. Especially if they come along and start mentioning things that they've read about here. I suppose its imposed some sort of self-censorship which has in turn brought down the entire tone of the blog, but then again I'm sure I can still find things to bitch about. I just can't be as personal, maybe, as I once was. I have to be a little more self-aware. Well, stay with me and we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, you can always look at some other queer blogs. I haven't looked at them all yet, but if any are of particular interest I might just stick them in my links on the left.

At the moment I'm in a bit of a self-reflecting stage. I haven't seen or spoken to the boyf since Monday. No contact. Whatsoever. We decided not to, because I think we were both feeling like we were becoming a little too reliant on each other, well mainly him on me, and I was feeling a lit out of touch with myself. It seems stupid to say, but I miss him. Alot. Scary, I know. Maybe everyone needs to do that every now and then. Just take a tiny breather. Just so you can actually appreciate what you have.

Diamond-Cutters

Been up to my ears since I got back from Paris. I've been moving into my new place the past few days. Everything's going well, although the heating sucks so the place is absolutely freezing, especially in the morning. See, 'tis all electric heating and with my anxiousness of ending up with a whopping electricity bill I'm being probably a little too economical. The scrooge in me is leaping for joy. The worst thing is the fact that my bedroom is freezing since it's in an extension at the back of the apartment and I only have a teeny electric heater, which I can't exactly leave on all night for fear of waking up on fire. Literally. I can turn it on before I go to bed, meaning I'm nice and warm, and during the night it's fine cause I'm asleep - it's just in the morning it's so cold that my nipples could cut glass...no make that cut a fine diamond (Well for those of you that know me, that applies most of the time :P )

So anyway, Ill update about the trip to Paris when I get the chance. Maybe even a photo or two.

Ch-ch-changes

I was back to my neurotic self last night after going to dance class with the boyf. I dont know what really triggered it off - maybe it was the phone call he made from my phone to his ex. or thinking about our trip to Paris next week. Whatever it was, my head started doing tumbles over itself. I think it's due to the fact that I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

It was recently commented by one of my friends (in a somewhat intoxicated state) that it seems like I'm "getting on with my life", although it feels more like I've lost some element of control I had on it. In the past year I've graduated, come out, had a short (shitty) relationship before entering into my current serious one, fallen in love, become an 'academic', had surgery, and am currently preparing to move out. I think that's a hell of a lot of changes to happen to someone in such a relatively short space of time. It's almost like the life I have now has moved on so much from the one I had a little over a year ago. My whole routine has changed - and I think I've changed in the process. I still feel like I don't want to move on because I thought I was happy in my old life, but I suppose it's the natural progression of things. Maybe moving out might give me a bit of stucture that I need.

I started to think about what I am doing and what direction my life is taking last night, which kinda made my head completely fucked up. What if I've made the wrong decision in doing a PhD, what if I don't get enough work done and get 'fired', what if this relationship is not meant to last, what am I doing moving out, what direction am I heading in?????

So many questions that I just can't answer, and should know better than to ask myself to begin with.

I'm Moving!

Myself and Dee got the appartment we went to look at yesterday, so yay! Giving the holding deposit today so will be moving in this weekend :) It's a nice basement appt about 10/15 min walk from the city centre so it suits us perfect. It's got two double rooms, which means I get to have a whole double bed to myself even though my room is on the smaller side. Can't wait to have dinner parties and play charades :p

I'm expecting lots of house-warming gifts, well-wishes and txts from the people that know me.

The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom

Go on the gays!
   GCN post
   The G&L Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Throw 'em in the Liffey!

Had a reasonable time DJing at my cousin's 21st on Sat night in her house. Reasonable in the fact that I managed to get a good few up dancing despite the constant requests for me to play shit music, which of course I ignored with an experienced "Yeah sure, after the next song". What was annoying was the fact that I was playing for 7hours and had to ward off her scummy friends as they tried to jump behind the decks to change the music, which of course ended in them breaking them somehow and telling me "Yeah, yer crap" because I didn't stock the scanger-style plastic-knacker techno crap that such people seem to enjoy. At that stage I didn't really give too shits cause it was late and I was slightly drunk since they had 2 kegs and taps at the party. I managed to avoid the whole "It's great the way you came out and everything cause you know I'm down with the whole gay thing" talk with one of my cousin's who I never talk to at the end of the night too, so all in all it was a reasonable success.

What is it with scumbags and scangers anyway? Do they just turn at a certain age, kind of like a "scumbag puberty" or are they just unfortunate enough to be born that way? Either way, they should be disposed of - preferably in a painful manor. Maybe by standing them next to an open fire the copius amounts of plastic clothing that they wear, ala gortex, will cause them to melt away or maybe throw them in the already scum-filled Liffey, alowing them to be dragged down under the weight of their glittering sovereigns and hoopy earings.

Hallow'een

So hope everyone had a pleasant Halloween. Myself, went to a 21st in the Mont Clare with the boyf on Fri night. Had a great night. The party itself was a bit crap, but we had our own little party thing going on down at our table, as we were all shouting, dancing, throwing nuts and splilling drinks. Was all good apart from a small little tiff between myself and the other half. It's the first time we've been in a proper argument/fight/delete as appropriate. And I felt so shitty. It only lasted about half hour - but at the same time it was horrible. We made up, although I think I ended up apologising for something I didn't do. It was almost like I had to do it to break the silence, but it worked and there was an apology. I should really not give in so easily to unfounded guilt. At least we made up pretty quickly afterwards (and no, I'm talking abou the quicky-in-the-toilets type of make-up) and enjoyed the rest of the night. We ended up going to Isoldes, but didn't all get in, so just bought some take out and went back to one of his friend's apartments till about 4 in the morning.

Plus, in other fabulous news, I bought the Goonies. God, I forgot how much I love that film..."Hey you guys!